


Ask Your Heart

by rsadelle



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Future Fic, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-29
Updated: 2013-03-29
Packaged: 2017-12-06 21:48:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/740516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rsadelle/pseuds/rsadelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler doesn't become a father by accident. It's something he wants and something he plans. He doesn't plan for Segs to love his daughter as much as he does, he doesn't plan to end up in Boston, and he really doesn't plan to hook up with Segs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ask Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Many months ago, Tyler Brown made a couple of baby-related tweets, and when I mentioned wanting a story where he decides to have a baby, Lake encouraged me to tell her more about it. This story eventually grew out of that original Twitter conversation.
> 
> Thanks to puckling and everyone else who participated in the cheerleading aspect of the Anti Lockout Squee Fest, and to my post-lockout check-in email thread for helping me keep on track and finish this story. Thank you to zvi who suggested Shakespeare as a source for a title. Thank you to ninja_orange who was very encouraging as I wrote this. And thank you, of course, to Lake, who encouraged me, found places it could be better, and helped me talk through the sticky parts.

"Not this year, but next summer-" Segs says on the phone one afternoon, because he's always already thinking ahead.

"About next summer," Tyler interrupts. He looks out at the gray skies of the Philadelphia winter.

"What?"

Tyler takes a deep breath, because he's going to have to tell Segs about this sooner or later, and he's been up with the Flyers for long enough that it's something he's started working on.

"What?"

"I want-" Tyler swallows. "I want to be a dad. I've been looking into it, trying to find a surrogate, all that kind of thing. If it works out, I'm going to have a kid by next summer."

"We're going to have to move," Segs says after a long, long silence.

"What?"

"This year will be fine, but the apartment's not going to work for us and a kid and a nanny. You're going to have a nanny, right? And Marshall."

"You still want me to live with you?"

"Yes," Segs says like there was never any doubt.

Tyler rubs his forehead. "You know it's not going to be the same, not with a baby around."

"I _know_ that," Segs says. "But, dude, whatever. We're getting older. You want to be a dad. Things change."

*

Tyler figures that next summer's far enough away that Segs might change his mind by then, and he focuses on what he can do now. He interviews surrogates and has his lawyer write up a contract when he finds one he thinks he can trust. There's all kinds of stuff he has to do with the clinic, and it's too expensive a place for anyone to hassle him about wanting to plan it so the baby's born at the end of the season. Sure, the end of the season is a crunch time, but that means he'll have all summer to spend with the baby.

He makes a couple of trips down to Philly from Toronto in the summer, and brushes off most of Segs' questions about the specifics of what's happening.

"Don't jinx it!" he tells Segs more than once, and Segs shakes his head and says, "It's going to be fine. Nothing's going to jinx it. You picked a weird time to be superstitious."

It's true that he's never been that superstitious before, but he wants this so much, and there are so many ways it can go wrong.

Carrie, the surrogate, calls him in August and says that the blood tests confirm she's pregnant.

Tyler barely dares to talk to anyone about it until she clears the first trimester in October.

Then he goes to as many check-ups as he can and puts up with the chirping from the guys about the ticking of his biological clock. He asks around about kid-friendly places to live and buys a new condo in one of the family-friendly areas of the city. He calls and tells Segs it's really happening.

*

Segs calls him a couple of weeks later and asks, "Do you have some off time when you're in Toronto next month?"

"Yeah, probably. Why?"

"I've been working with a realtor. We narrowed it down to a couple of places. I want you to look at them before we finalize anything, see if you like one of them better."

"You're serious," Tyler says.

"Fuck you," Segs says, "of course I'm serious. They're all places that'll be good for a kid to spend summers in."

"Okay," Tyler sighs. "Give me the realtor's name, and I'll check them out."

*

Tyler arranges to see the properties during the few free hours he has one afternoon in Toronto. The realtor picks him up at the hotel.

"Where are we going?"

The realtor gestures at the iPad she'd handed him. "There are details about each of the properties there. Tyler-" she pauses and smiles at him - "the other Tyler, specifically asked for family-friendly residential neighborhoods."

He seems to have asked for houses, too, because that's what she takes him to see, all of them in or bordering on Forest Hill. Tyler shakes his head at a few of them - they're not spending their summers in a place where marble floors can turn the kind of falls kids have all the time into a concussion - but some of them are nice.

The realtor gives him her card when she brings him back to the hotel and says, "You two talk it over, and let me know what you've decided on. Most of these properties have other buyers interested, and you'll want to put in an offer soon if you want a chance at them."

Tyler says, "Okay. We'll get back to you," and goes upstairs to fall into bed for a nap.

He wakes up to half a dozen texts from Segs asking about houses. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes, opens the curtains to get a little light, and calls Segs back.

"They're all sweet places, right?" Segs says without even saying hello.

"Yeah," Tyler says. "Forest Hill?"

Tyler can almost hear Segs' shrug when he says, "I can afford it."

"We," Tyler says. "We can afford it." There's a silence he doesn't like, and he says, again, "We. I'm paying half for this place."

"I can afford it."

"So can I. This isn't like the apartment. This is a place for my kid, and I'm in the show now; I can afford it too. I'm paying half and it's going in both our names."

"I make-" Segs says.

"Don't say you make more than me," Tyler says. "I know what you make, and what I make. I'm paying half."

"Don't be a dick about this."

"You don't be a dick about this. My kid, my house too, my money too."

"Fine," Segs says, and Tyler makes a note to pay close attention to the process so Segs doesn't try to pay for everything himself anyway. "I liked the place on Dunvegan."

"No," Tyler says. "Kids fall. No marble floors."

"Huh," Segs says. "Good point. What does that leave us with?"

"A couple of places. I liked the one on Parkwood best."

"Is that the one with the backyard?"

Tyler grins. "Yeah. Space for Marshall and the kid."

"And us," Segs says. "We can grill out there, have people over."

"Yeah, so that's the one we're buying?"

"Yeah," Segs says. "I'll call the realtor and get stuff going."

"Both our names," Tyler says.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it. This is gonna be awesome."

*

Tyler asks a lot of questions, partly just to be annoying, and partly so he knows what they're getting into and can make sure he's part of it. He wouldn't put it past Segs to pay for the whole thing himself anyway.

Buying a house is both easier and harder than Tyler thought it would be. The hard part is mostly because he, Segs, and the house are never all in the same country at the same time, much less the same city, and that means a lot of FedExing of documents all over the place - the realtor to Segs to him back to the realtor.

Eventually, though, they sign the last of the documents and the realtor FedExes him a copy of the deed and a key. Tyler makes a spare copy of the key, just in case, and slides the key the realtor sent onto his keychain. Then he takes a picture of it and sends it to Segs, who sends him back a picture of his key sitting on top of his copy of the deed.

The next step is furniture. Segs has everything from the old place moved into the new, and they spend a couple of afternoons arguing over furniture on Skype. Tyler manages to put off a lot of the decision making by saying he'll just get two of whatever he buys for the nanny's room and nursery in Philadelphia.

Segs reluctantly agrees to that, but it doesn't get Tyler out of the other decision making; Segs sends him dozens of links to couches that could go in the other front room.

"I don't know, man," Tyler says when Segs corners him into giving an opinion. "Don't get anything ugly. We're going to be living with a little kid, so it's going to get stained, so you don't want white."

"You're not taking this seriously," Segs accuses.

"They're couches," Tyler says. "Pick the one that's most comfortable. If I hate it, I'll only sit on the one we already have."

Segs heaves a heavy sigh at him. "If I narrow it down to two or three, will you go sit on them to see which one you like best?"

"Yes," Tyler says, and then ends up driving to three different furniture stores all over Philly so he can give his opinion.

*

Carrie's due in April, and by March Tyler has a nursery set up and basic furniture in the guest room for the nanny. That means it's also time to find a nanny.

The other guys with kids aren't much help - most of them have wives or ex-wives who take care of their kids when they're on the road - so Tyler mostly muddles through the process of looking at agencies versus Craigslist ads. In the end, he interviews a couple of people through ads and a couple through an agency.

Some of them are easy to eliminate, and he finds himself down to two candidates. Lauren is with the agency, which means there's a lot of employment stuff he wouldn't have to deal with himself, but Christine seemed more comfortable with him and his situation.

Tyler decides honesty is the best approach, and he calls both Lauren and Christine and says, "You're one of my two top candidates. Tell me why I should pick you."

Lauren rattles off her experience for him again, and says, "I'm extremely trustworthy. You won't have to worry about leaving your child with me."

Christine says, "It's ultimately up to you, and who you think will be the best fit for your family. I'm not impressed that you're a hockey player, and I'm not going to be impressed by your hockey player friends. My job is to make sure your kid is happy and safe."

Tyler thinks about it, about what he really wants for his kid. He wants the kid to be happy and safe, and he wants his kid to grow up sensible. He calls Christine back and tells her she's hired.

*

Carrie calls Tyler when she goes into labor, but she won't let him into the delivery room. He paces the waiting room instead, sends periodic updates to his parents and friends who ask for them. It's a long time, or it feels like a long time, before a nurse comes to find him and says, "Mr. Brown? You can come see your daughter now."

Tyler sags like his strings have been cut, and then he stands up and follows her down the hall to the nursery where they sit him down in a rocking chair and put his daughter in his arms. She's tiny, barely bigger than one of his gloves, with just the tiniest fluff of hair and eyes that don't focus when she opens them, and Tyler loves her more than he's ever loved anyone else.

"Do you have a name for her?" the nurse asks.

"Amanda," Tyler says without looking up. "Amanda Marie Brown." He fumbles for his phone and holds it out to her. "Would you take a picture?"

"Of course." She takes three, and hands the phone back to him. "I'll let you sit here with her for a bit. I'll be back in a while to go over some things with you."

Tyler shifts Amanda so she's secure with just one arm around her and thumbs through his phone with the other. He does a mass text to almost everyone he knows with the best of the photos, and then tweets it with the same note: _Amanda Marie Brown, 3:27pm, 6 lbs 3 oz, perfect._

He turns off his phone after that, shifts Amanda again so she's cradled in both of his arms, and rocks with her until the nurse comes back to make sure he knows how to feed and change her, and what's normal and what's not for babies.

They let him stay for a long time, but eventually they shoo him out. "I'm sorry," a different nurse tells him. "You can come back in the morning."

Tyler lets go of Amanda reluctantly, and drives himself home in a sort of a daze. He eats something, and then turns his phone back on and scrolls through dozens of texts and voicemails, skims his replies on Twitter and grins at Segs' _Can't wait to meet her!_

He calls his parents first, and his mom cries on the phone and says, "We're coming down this weekend."

His dad sounds equally choked up when he says, "I'm proud of you, son. I can't wait to see her."

One of his texts is from Segs, who says, _Skype sesh when you get home. No excuses,_ so after he calls his parents, he opens his laptop and texts Segs back.

"Holy shit," Segs says as soon as he appears on the screen, grinning wide enough for both of them. "You're a dad."

"Yeah," Tyler says. "Yeah, I'm a dad."

On the screen, Segs tips his head down to look at his phone. "Her face is a little squished, but she's cute."

"She's _perfect_ ," Tyler says, and his voice breaks. He puts his hand over his eyes, because Segs might be able to hear that he's crying, but he doesn't need to see it. "Fuck," he mutters.

"No, come on," Segs says, "this is good. Someday when she's a teenager, she's going to be mad at you and say you don't love her, and you can say that you love her so much you cried with happiness when she was born."

Tyler chuckles a little and wipes at his eyes with the heels of his hands. "You think that'll work?"

"Not even a little bit," Segs says. "Teenagers aren't logical like that. But you tell her you love her enough times and she'll believe it. And you do." He holds up his phone. "You're even all starry-eyed in the picture."

Tyler chuckles again, watery though it is. "Starry-eyed?"

"Dude, I've never seen you look at _anyone_ like that."

Tyler swallows against the lump in his throat. "I've never loved anyone like that."

*

Tyler stops on his way to the hospital in the morning to do what he should have done yesterday and buys flowers for Carrie. She's sitting halfway up watching TV when he taps on her door; she waves him in and turns off the TV.

Tyler puts the flowers on the table next to her bed, then sits in the chair and takes her hand in both of his. " _Thank you_."

Carrie pats his hand. "So the baby's okay?"

"Yeah." Tyler lets go with one hand. "Do you want to see a picture?"

"No," Carrie says a little too fast. "No," she says again. "It's easier this way."

Tyler looks away while she blinks away tears. They're not close enough for that.

He folds his hands around hers again. "Thank you," he says again, because it's the only thing he needs to tell her. "If you ever need anything-"

Carrie squeezes his hand. "You just be happy with your baby."

Tyler takes that as his cue to leave, and he squeezes back before he goes to the nursery to sit with Amanda.

He gets an hour to feed her, rock with her in his arms and talk to her, keeping his voice soft because she's a baby and there are other babies around, before Couts and Schenner show up.

"I still can't believe you have a baby," Schenner says, shaking his head.

Tyler grins at him. "Yeah, well, I'm not asking you to babysit."

"Yeah, no," Schenner says. "Kids are fine, but I'm not taking care of them."

"She's really small," Couts says.

Tyler tilts Amanda so he can see her better. "She is less than twenty-four hours old."

Couts holds out one finger and touches Amanda's hand, and makes a tiny noise when her fingers curl around his.

"That's my girl," Tyler says. He looks up at Couts and Schenner. "Someday, she's going to be kicking your asses all up and down the ice."

Couts laughs, and Schenner makes a face.

"Should you really be swearing around her?"

"Probably not, but she's too young to really understand it. Aren't you?" Tyler lifts Amanda up a little to kiss her forehead, and looks up again just in time to see G, Danny, and one of Danny's boys come through the doors into the nursery.

"Oh, yeah," Schenner says, "we were supposed to tell you the guys are probably going to be dropping in all day."

The teenager - Cameron, Tyler thinks - flops into a chair without looking up from his phone, and Danny just shakes his head before he says, "Congratulations."

"Thank you."

"We brought you a present." G holds out a bag, and without Tyler quite knowing how it happens, he ends up with the bag and Danny ends up with Amanda.

Tyler's breath catches, but Danny has kids - one of them is sitting right there as proof that he managed to raise them - so it's probably better if he has her than anyone else.

"I've got her," Danny says, and he looks comfortable and competent, and Amanda isn't fussing. "You forget how small they were." He looks away from Amanda at his kid, who doesn't even look up.

G nudges Tyler's shoulder. "Open it."

Tyler looks down, and then opens the bag and pulls out a handful of cloth. He sorts it out into two onesies with different variations of Flyers designs on them and a tiny version of his jersey.

Tyler grins. "Thanks."

"Claude wanted to get her one of his," the kid - Cameron is the one who doesn't look exactly like Danny, right? - says, "but Dad said no."

G shrugs unrepentantly. "I'm the superior player."

"I'm her dad." Tyler drops the clothes back into the bag and puts it down on the floor next to his chair.

"One of these days," Danny says, as he hands Amanda back, "you're going to be exhausted and begging other people to take a turn holding her."

"He tries to pawn us off on anyone he can," the kid says.

"Cameron," Danny says, so Tyler was right about that, and he's going to have to learn that parental voice someday.

"People who have had us pawned off on them, raise their hands," Cameron says.

G and Couts both raise their hands, which isn't surprising, and so does Schenner, which is.

"Count me in on that," Hartsy says from the doorway. "That is a tiny human being."

Most of the morning is like that, with teammates showing up and leaving in small groups, some of them with presents, some of them with offers to babysit, and some of them with just their awe that he actually has a baby now.

They're all gone, filtered out to lunch or naps or workouts, when Christine comes by a little after noon.

"She's beautiful," Christine says. Then she holds her arms out, and Tyler hands Amanda over. He'd rather not, rather hold her himself forever, but Christine is going to spend a lot of time taking care of Amanda, and Amanda might as well get used to her now.

Christine smiles down at Amanda and says, "Hi, there, Amanda. I'm Christine. I'm going to be taking care of you when your daddy's busy." She looks up at Tyler. "Why don't you go get some lunch, and I'll stay with Amanda." Tyler doesn't move, and she smiles at him. "Go on. You're going to have to get used to leaving her with me, and this way you can practice with a short trip."

Tyler gets up and lets her have the rocking chair. He finds one of the nurses to make sure they won't kick Christine out, and then he hovers over her for a minute before brushing his thumb over Amanda's cheek and saying, "I'll be back soon."

He's had the food in the hospital cafeteria, and he hired Christine because he trusts her, so he leaves the hospital and finds a sandwich place a couple of blocks away. He has a bunch of texts, more congratulations mostly, and he replies to those after he eats.

He knows it's a good idea to let Amanda get used to Christine, but he also already hates being away from her, so while he tries to stay out for a reasonable amount of time, he doesn't manage it for very long, and he goes back to the hospital to find Amanda sleeping while Christine rocks her.

"I was, um-"

Christine shakes her head and laughs softly. "You're not the first new parent I've worked for. Here." She lets Tyler take Amanda from her and gets up so he can sit with her instead. "I'll come back later." She squeezes Tyler's shoulder. "You'll get used to it, and she'll be fine with me."

*

Tyler gets the day Amanda's born and the day after off, but then it's right back into the rhythm of practice and games.

Christine meets him at the hospital when he gets to take Amanda home. She helps him double-check that he has Amanda buckled into her car seat, and she trails after him while he walks around and talks Amanda through a tour of the condo. She's too young to understand, but it doesn't matter. Tyler wants to introduce her to their home.

Tyler sits with Amanda in the rocking chair in her room for a long time that first day. He's going to have to leave her soon enough; he wants to spend as much time as possible with her.

He's almost late to the rink for their first road trip after she's born, because he stands in the hallway holding her for too long.

"Tyler," Christine says gently, "you have to go. She's going to be fine with me. I will FaceTime you so you can see her."

Tyler takes a shuddering breath and kisses Amanda's forehead before reluctantly letting Christine take her. "Okay," he says. "Okay, I'm going."

"Get out of here." Christine practically pushes him out the door. "It'll be fine, and you'll be back with her in two days.

They're the longest two days of Tyler's life.

*

Tyler's always appreciated the home comforts that come with the end of a road trip, but it's nothing compared to how he feels coming home to Amanda from the last few of the season.

Segs laughs at him when he tries to explain it, Skyping with his laptop on the dining room table and Amanda hungrily drinking down a bottle in his arms.

"Oh, fuck you," Tyler says, and then looks down at Amanda guiltily. She probably won't remember him saying that.

"No, I get it," Segs says. "Like, I miss Marshall when I'm gone."

Tyler snaps his head up and glares into the camera. "If you're comparing your dog to my daughter, I'm closing this laptop right now."

"No you won't," Segs says. "You'd have to let go of her or her bottle, and you're not going to do that."

"I could call Christine over here to do it for me," Tyler grumbles.

Segs laughs. "You won't do it. You like me too much."

Tyler shrugs a little, and looks down at Amanda drinking from her bottle.

"But not half as much as you like her."

Tyler doesn't answer, and Segs is quiet for a minute. When Tyler looks up to see what he's doing, he's still there, still just off-center in a way that means he's looking at the screen.

"I'm not the only one fascinated here." Tyler doesn't quite manage to make his tone a teasing one.

"She's cute," Segs says. "And she's so tiny."

"You've seen pictures."

"Yeah, pictures," Segs says. "It's different when you're," he waves a hand, "there."

Tyler refrains from pointing out that they're not actually there. "Wait until you hold her. You won't believe how small she is then."

"I can't even wait," Segs says. "You don't know how excited I am for this summer."

Tyler looks down at Amanda and watches her decide she's done with her bottle. "Wait until she wakes you up crying at two a.m. You won't be as excited then."

"Don't be a dumbass," Segs says. "She's your daughter. It's gonna be awesome."

*

They were already solidly in the playoffs, so Tyler just keeps playing his best game every time through to the end of the season, and then he spends a couple of days at home with Amanda before the playoffs start up.

They stretch it out to five games, but they get knocked out in the first round by the fucking Lightning. Tyler spends a couple of days in Philly, going out with the guys who are still there and spending the rest of his time alternately holding Amanda and packing, and then he, Christine, and Amanda pile into the car for the drive to Toronto, which takes a lot longer with a baby who has to be fed and changed and either entertained or lulled back to sleep.

He knows there are groceries at the house, and that it's been cleaned, because he set both of those things up with the service a couple of days ago, but he hasn't actually been there since the tour with the realtor, so he doesn't know what else to expect.

Tyler unclips the carrier and takes Amanda inside in that, duffle bag over his other shoulder and Christine bringing one of her suitcases and the diaper bag behind him, but once they're inside, he puts the carrier and the duffle down and unbuckles Amanda.

"Let's go see if we can stay here," he says to her.

The living room has all the furniture from the old place. The dining room table and the stools at the kitchen counter are new, probably something Segs had someone choose to fit the space if he decided the old ones didn't match the new couches in the other front room.

Tyler just checks to make sure there's food in the fridge and pantry before he goes up the stairs to see what the bedroom situation is.

His bedroom has his bed and dresser set up, so that's good. He narrates the whole experience to Amanda, who probably isn't taking in any of it, but it's good to talk to babies. He cuts himself off in the middle of a sentence when he turns on the light in the nursery.

The crib and changing table are set up, but that's not all. The walls are painted, a very light blue for most of it with large green stripes, like blades of grass, that start at the floor and go up two or three feet. There are butterflies - in gloriously bright colors as well as the requisite airy pink and purple - ladybugs, and what Tyler thinks must be a cricket, perched on the grass and flying on the upper part of the walls. There's a rocking chair in one corner that's not the same as the one in Philly, and there are lamps that scatter soft light when he turns them on.

Amanda takes in a breath he recognizes before she starts to cry.

"Okay, baby," he says. "Let's go get you something to eat. There's a nice bottle downstairs just waiting to be heated up for you."

His talking keeps her crying from turning into shrieking, and Christine already has a bottle heating when he gets to the kitchen.

Tyler takes the bottle from her and lets Amanda start sucking from it before he goes back upstairs to sit in the rocking chair while he feeds her. It's a nice chair, wood that's soft and worn on the arms from age or polishing, and it's comfortable. He's pretty sure his ass isn't going to fall asleep even if he sits there for a while.

Tyler may still be new at this, but he did bring a spit-up cloth upstairs with him, so he drapes that over his shoulder and lets Amanda spit up on him when she's done with the bottle. He tosses it into the hamper and settles Amanda into his arms to rock with her.

It doesn't take long for her to fall asleep. Tyler keeps rocking a little longer, because it's comforting and he likes watching her sleep, but when he starts feeling like he's about to fall asleep too, he gets up and puts her down in the crib. He stays to watch her for a couple more minutes before he switches off the lights, turns on the nightlight, and goes downstairs to lug in the rest of the bags.

He calls Segs once all the luggage is in the house. "You painted Amanda's room."

"I had it painted," Segs corrects. "If you don't like it, we can repaint it. I thought it would be cool to have something other than white walls for her."

"Dude," Tyler says before Segs can babble any more, "it's great. Thank you. What's with the rocking chair? I thought it was supposed to be all the same furniture as the place in Philly."

"I had them send it back," Segs says. "That's from my mom's house. The one she had when we were kids."

Tyler can feel himself starting to choke up. He really needs some sleep. "It's awesome. Thanks, dude."

*

Tyler watches Segs' games with Amanda in his arms. She's way too young to understand, but he talks her through them anyway, until she drifts off and he has to go upstairs to put her down.

She's asleep before the third period of game six, second round, so she misses it when the Pens win and knock Segs and his team out. It's probably for the best; Tyler probably wouldn't be able to keep himself from swearing even with her in the room.

It also means that Segs drives up from Boston three days later. Tyler hands Amanda to Christine when he hears Segs' car pull into the driveway and goes out to meet him.

Segs stretches when he gets out of the car, opens the passenger door to let Marshall out, and then grins and says, "Dude. How awesome is this place?"

Tyler grins back at him. "So awesome." He catches Segs up in a tight hug. "Sorry you didn't make it to the Finals."

"There's always next year." Segs pulls back, and Tyler crouches down to greet Marshall. "We made it farther than you."

Tyler snorts and stands up. "Asshole."

Segs grins, and pushes past Tyler and Marshall toward the house. "Watch your language. There's a baby present."

Tyler turns with him, and Christine is standing in the doorway with Amanda.

"Amanda," Segs says. "Come here."

Christine looks at Tyler for his approval before she lets Segs hold Amanda.

Segs tucks her against his shoulder. "Hi there, baby. I'm your Uncle Tyler."

"Be careful of her head," Tyler says. "She can't hold it up by herself yet."

Segs moves his hand up so he's supporting Amanda's head better. "I've got her. Don't worry. I would never let anything happen to her." He croons the last in the kind of voice everyone gets when faced with an infant. He smiles at Tyler. "This is going to be awesome."

Tyler smiles back. "Yes, it is. Now give her back to Christine and put Marshall in the backyard so we can get your shi- stuff unloaded."

Segs kisses the top of Amanda's head. "Don't you worry. We're going to have plenty of time to hang out when your daddy isn't forcing me to do work."

Tyler flips him off; Segs just laughs and carefully hands Amanda to Christine.

*

Segs takes to living with a baby a lot better than Tyler thought he would. Segs isn't a morning person at the best of times, and Tyler would have guessed that he wouldn't like living with someone who wakes up the whole house crying in the middle of the night. But it's not like that. Segs never complains about it, and Tyler would think he's just such a deep sleeper than he sleeps right through it, except that Segs comes to the nursery more than once when Tyler's taking a two a.m. feeding. Tyler makes up a bottle in the kitchen and sits with Amanda in the rocking chair to feed her, and Segs sits on the floor next to him.

"I didn't think you would like this," Tyler says one of those nights.

Segs shrugs. "All part of the experience, right? She's so tiny, and she depends on you for everything."

"You don't have to be here for this."

"I don't mind." Segs yawns. "But wake me up if I ever fall asleep on the floor in here. My bed's way more comfortable."

"Okay." Tyler rocks gently and watches Amanda drink. Even at two a.m. when he could be asleep, he loves her more than he's ever loved anyone else.

"I like seeing that look on your face too," Segs says.

Tyler looks down, and Segs is looking at him, not Amanda. "What look?"

"That look," Segs says. "The one you give her. You look happy."

Tyler looks at Amanda. "Yeah," he says. "I am."

"Good." Segs nudges his knee. "You should be, for all the trouble you went to."

"Only way I was going to get this now." He doesn't have to elaborate on that one; Segs knows all about the ways his previous relationships have crashed and burned.

Amanda stops drinking, and Tyler puts her over his shoulder to burp her, and then brings her back down to rock her to sleep.

Segs stands when he does, and leans over the edge of Amanda's crib with him for a moment, before he tugs at Tyler's arm. "Man, go back to bed and let her sleep. She'll be up again in a few hours."

Tyler lets Segs pull him out of the room, and he only looks back at Amanda once.

*

Christine hovers a lot all summer, ready to help out when Tyler needs her and making sure he's doing things right.

"You know you're paying me," she says when he changes diapers instead of handing Amanda over to her.

"I know." Tyler fastens Amanda's onesie closed and picks her up, holds her against his shoulder. "I'm home now," he tells her, "and I'm not always going to be during the season. I'm going to do this stuff while I can." He flashes a smile at her. "You'll get plenty of chances to change diapers and get spit up on."

*

Amanda sleeps a lot, because apparently that's what babies do, nap more than hockey players, and she cries when she wants something, like food or a clean diaper or to be held. Tyler spends a lot of time just watching her. Segs drags him into their usual summer training schedule after a couple of weeks, but when they're not training, Tyler's holding Amanda or watching her sleep or watching her sleep on his chest while he lies on the couch.

"Man," Segs says, and he puts his hand on Amanda's back, gentle and careful like he always is with her, "she doesn't even do anything and you're all fascinated."

"Yeah," Tyler says, and it's soft, not the dry tone he intended, "it's called love."

Segs sits down cross-legged next to the couch and watches with him. Christine wanders in and out a couple of times - she gives them a strange look that Tyler meets and then ignores in favor of watching Amanda's back rise and fall with her tiny breaths - and Marshall's tags jingle as he pads around, but it's otherwise silent and Amanda sleeps the whole time.

Segs sighs after a while and puts his hand on her back again. "Yeah," he says, "I get it."

*

They pack up the house in September. It's a routine they're used to from previous summers, and even having Amanda and all of her stuff doesn't change things that much.

The last night before they leave, Segs picks Amanda up off the blanket on the living room floor and says, "I'll put her to bed," and won't let Tyler stop him. "I'm not going to see her for a long time," he says. "This is my last chance to hang with her for a while."

Tyler says, "Knock yourself out," but he hovers anyway, watches Segs change Amanda into her footie pajamas and sit in the rocking chair to sing her to sleep.

Segs stays there for a while even after she's asleep before he gets up and puts her down in the crib.

Tyler goes over and puts his hand on Segs' back. "Come on," he says softly. "You'll see her tomorrow, and then you're in Philly, what, next month?"

"Yeah." Segs lets Tyler lead him out of the room. "But I'll miss her. I don't want her to forget me."

"You're going to Skype with us like twice a week," Tyler says. "She's not going to have a chance."

*

In the morning, they have breakfast and pack the last of their stuff into their cars. They take out the garbage and make sure all the windows are closed and locked. And then they stand in the driveway while Segs holds Amanda for so long that Marshall gets bored with Tyler petting him.

"Your dog's ready to go."

"Oh, my dog." Segs kisses Amanda's forehead. "Okay, baby girl. Uncle Tyler loves you, and I'll see you soon." He buckles Amanda into her car seat and closes the car door. "I guess I'll see you soon too."

Tyler rolls his eyes and pulls Segs in for a hug. "This summer was awesome," he says. "Two a.m. feedings and all."

Segs laughs and hugs him tightly. "Yeah, it was." They hold on for a minute, and Segs says, "She is the most perfect baby I've ever met, and I'm so glad you have her."

Tyler has to bury his face in Segs' shoulder for a second. "Yeah," he says wetly.

Segs thumps him on the back. "Now get out of here. You have an eight-hour drive with an infant."

Tyler lets go. "Better than eight and a half with a dog. At least she's in diapers."

Segs laughs and calls, "Bye, Christine," before he gets Marshall into his car.

Christine waves at Segs and Marshall, and Tyler climbs into the car. He looks over his shoulder to make sure Amanda's okay before he turns the key and takes them back to Philly.

*

Settling into a routine at the beginning of the season is easier than it was at the end of last season. Tyler's used to Amanda's routines now, and while leaving her to go on road trips still breaks his heart, he at least feels like he's stored up enough time with her that he can let it become part of their routine without feeling like he's missing out on her whole life.

Segs calls or Skypes at least once a week, and Tyler puts him on speaker or holds Amanda up in front of the screen so Segs can talk to her.

"You know she's too young to really understand this," Tyler says once when he's holding Amanda in front of his laptop so Segs can tell her about his hat trick in his last game.

Segs shrugs. "I don't want her to forget me. Even if she doesn't understand, at least she'll hear my voice. And I want to see her. You and Christine send me pictures, but it's not the same thing as seeing her wave her hands around."

Amanda is doing just that, and Tyler gets distracted watching her for a moment. "Christine sends you pictures?"

"Yep. We're tight." Segs grins. "And she knows that Amanda is my favorite baby girl."

Tyler raises his eyebrows. "How many baby girls do you know that you have a favorite?"

"Doesn't matter," Segs says. "Amanda's always going to be my favorite."

*

The Bruins come to town for a game at the end of October. Tyler leaves Amanda at home with Christine when he goes to pick Segs up at his hotel to come over and hang out.

There are a bunch of Bruins hanging around the lobby when Tyler gets there, all of them staring at him, but Segs just ignores them and catches Tyler in a hug. "Dude. Where's Amanda?"

"At home. You know what it's like trying to get her in the car." Tyler rolls his eyes at Segs' disappointed face. "It's like fifteen minutes and then you can see her."

"That's fifteen minutes I don't get to see her."

"Just get in the car." Tyler does his best to ignore the guys watching them as he herds Segs outside. "What's in the bag?"

Segs pulls the bag closer. "It's not for you. It's a present for Amanda."

"You know she's too little to open it herself."

"So you'll open it for her." Segs puts the bag down at his feet and buckles his seatbelt. "It's still hers."

"Fine," Tyler says, but he can't dredge up any outrage because it's pretty great to have Segs visiting. "Now talk to me about something that isn't my kid for fifteen minutes, because I know once you see her you won't."

Segs does, mostly, although there's a story in there about nearly getting run over by a stroller pushed by a kid in a grocery store and how the baby in the stroller wasn't as cute as Amanda but was wearing socks just like the ones Segs' sisters got for her.

Segs practically steps on his heels when Tyler takes him inside, and he doesn't even say hi to Christine, just drops the bag he's carrying on the floor and swoops in to pluck Amanda out of her playpen.

"Amanda," he crows, softly enough for her baby ears. "Look at you." He holds her to his shoulder and grins at Tyler. "You grew. You're getting so big."

Amanda babbles at him, because she does that a lot now. Nothing that's quite a word, not yet, but a lot of sounds that sound almost like they could be.

"You have a lot to say," Segs says. "Do you remember me?"

Amanda babbles at him and grabs his shirt.

"Sure you do. I'm your Uncle Tyler. You wouldn't forget me." Segs looks up from her and says, "Hey, Christine."

"Hi." Christine doesn't even seem bothered about Segs ignoring her in favor of Amanda, and she leaves the room now that Tyler and Segs are back.

"I brought you a present," Segs tells Amanda, "but you're too little to open it, so Daddy's going to have to do it for you." He looks expectantly at Tyler.

"Oh," Tyler says, "now I get to touch the bag?"

"Yes, you get to touch the bag. Open it already."

Tyler picks up the bag and opens it while Segs watches him with a bright grin and Amanda turned to look in his direction. What's in the bag is a bundle of red and black fabric that resolves itself into baby clothes. "Is this-" Tyler shakes out the pieces.

"A Halloween costume!" Segs brings Amanda over to him. "I already washed it, so we can put it right on her."

Tyler's torn between laughing and finding it sweet. "I didn't have a kid just so you could play dress-up." He lays out the pieces of the costume on the couch. "Give her here."

Segs sits next to him on the floor and talks all the way through Tyler changing Amanda into the costume. It keeps her from fussing about it; she's too busy watching Segs.

The only parts of Amanda visible once she's in the costume are her face and hands. Segs scoops her up and gently twirls her around the room with a slight whoosh of air passing over the wings of the costume.

"You are the cutest little ladybug," Segs says. "You're going to get so much candy on Halloween."

Tyler rolls his eyes. "She's not even one. I'm not taking her trick-or-treating." He can't dispute the rest of what Segs said; she is the cutest little ladybug.

"But think of all the candy." Segs stops moving and holds Amanda to his chest with one arm while he digs out his phone. "Take a picture."

Tyler takes a couple, and then they switch; Tyler takes Amanda and Segs takes both their phones and takes a couple of pictures of Tyler with Amanda.

"Can I tweet this?"

Tyler leans over to see which picture Segs has pulled up. It's one where he's holding Amanda to his shoulder so all you can see is the wings spreading out from her back and Segs' giant smile. "Sure." He watches Segs type in, "Cutest ladybug in the whole world. Genes from @tylerbrown1856, style from Uncle Tyler." Tyler hands Amanda to Segs and retweets it.

"Amanda ate," Tyler says, "but there's food for us."

Segs carries Amanda into the kitchen with him and sits down at the table without putting her down while Tyler lets Christine know they're ready to eat.

He waits for Christine to get a plate, then makes up plates for himself and Segs. "We can put her down," he tells Segs.

"No," Segs says. "We're fine, aren't we, Ladybug?"

Amanda looks up at his voice and stops mouthing at the edge of her costume to babble at Segs.

"That's right," Segs says to her. "We're good."

Tyler doesn't think he's really going to be okay; it's been a couple of months, and Amanda's a lot more squirrely and more likely to try grabbing at shiny things like silverware, but the novelty hasn't worn off yet for Segs, and he keeps Amanda on his lap all the way through dinner.

Segs doesn't seem any more inclined to put her down after dinner either. Christine takes the dishes from Tyler even though it's not part of her job - "I've got it. You go spend time with them," she says - so Tyler takes Segs on a brief tour of the condo, which includes the rug and wall decals in Amanda's room that he bought to be a thematic match to the decor Segs put in her room in Toronto, and then they settle down on the living room floor. Tyler spreads out a blanket and grabs a couple of Amanda's toys out of the playpen. Segs puts Amanda down on the blanket and he and Tyler sit on either side of her.

"Look at this." Segs takes one of the stuffed animals and holds it out to Amanda. "Have you ever seen a ladybug play with an elephant before?"

Amanda babbles at him and grabs the elephant. She sticks one of its ears in her mouth.

"I know I've never seen a ladybug eat an elephant before. Ladybugs eat aphids, and Amanda ladybugs eat baby food."

Tyler's not required for the conversation, so he just watches while Segs talks to and trades toys with Amanda, until Amanda starts getting fussy and pulling at the hood of her costume.

"I think it's time for pajamas and bed," Tyler says, and he tosses the discarded toys into the playpen.

Segs is used to Amanda's bedtime routine, so he hovers while Tyler changes her diaper and puts her in pajamas instead of her costume, and then he takes Amanda and sits in the rocking chair with her.

She falls asleep, and Segs gently lowers her into her crib without waking her up.

Tyler quietly closes the door behind them, and they don't talk until they get back to the living room, where Segs flops onto the couch and Tyler folds up the blanket on the floor and picks up the rest of Amanda's toys.

"I can't believe how big she is now," Segs says. He sounds wistful and almost sad. "It doesn't seem like it's been that long since I last saw her."

Tyler sits down next to him. "It hasn't, but she's growing a lot. She's going to be a lot bigger next time."

Segs makes a face at him. "Stop torturing me."

Tyler laughs. "If it makes you feel better, every bit she grows is a little closer to getting her onto a rink."

Segs lights up. "I want to be there for her first skate. Promise me."

Tyler wants to put her on skates as soon as she can possibly handle it, but they see each other enough that they can probably make that happen. "Sure," he says. "But she's not going to be wearing your jersey."

Segs laughs and jostles him. "Give it up. You know I'm way better."

Tyler pushes back. "And I'm her dad. That beats you out any day."

"Cool Uncle Tyler," Segs says. "You can't beat that."

"You can't buy her affection with clothes."

Segs laughs. "Just awesomeness." He leans against Tyler's shoulder. "She's great, you know? She's just. Great. Like, how amazing is it that she's yours? You made a person, dude."

Tyler looks at him. "You knew all of that before now."

"Yeah, but." Segs shrugs. "It's different now. She's almost talking. She's like a real person now."

Tyler does know what he means. It's not as noticeable when he sees her all the time, but she really has grown a lot, even in just the last couple of weeks since the summer.

"Yeah," Tyler says. "She is."

Segs throws his arm around Tyler. "Okay, enough of this lovefest. Are we going to play some Xbox before you have to take me back or what?"

"When have you ever been done with a lovefest?" Despite his words, Tyler gets up and gets the controllers out of the baby-proof cabinet under the TV.

*

Tyler gets traded to Boston on a Wednesday morning when Amanda's four. They already have his bag packed, so he gets a few minutes to say goodbye to the guys, and then he's no longer a Flyer. He doesn't have to be in Boston until the morning and Amanda's at preschool, so he goes home and sits down with Christine.

"You don't have to move," he says, "if you don't want to, but I need you to come with us at least until Amanda gets settled in and I can hire a new nanny."

Christine's traveled with them before, so she's okay with that part of it. "Are we leaving today?"

"I am." Part of Tyler is already thinking about what he needs to pack and everything else he needs to do. "I'll pick Amanda up today and tell her about it. I want to let her finish out the week at school, and you two can come up this weekend." He rubs his hand over his face. "I don't even know what our schedule is, if I'm even going to be there."

Christine gives him the kind of unimpressed look that makes her a great nanny. "So go find out." She looks past him at the clock on the cable box. "You have an hour before you have to leave to pick up Amanda."

He adds the Bruins schedule to his phone - they're at home this weekend, so that's fine - and then he dials Segs while he pulls things out of his closet.

"I got traded to you," he says as soon as Segs picks up.

Segs lets out a whoop loud enough that Tyler cringes to have it in his ear. "Dude, this is awesome."

"Yeah," Tyler says, "awesome. Can we stay with you? Just for a while, until-"

"Of course you're staying with me," Segs says. "It'll be awesome, and Amanda already has her own room here." She does, because Segs bought a ridiculously large townhouse and made one of the rooms into a guest room just for Amanda even though Tyler, Amanda, and Christine only ever came through Boston a couple of times a year.

That's at least one of Tyler's worries taken care of, and they talk for a little longer while Tyler packs everything he thinks he's going to need for a while, until he can get someone in to move everything from the old house to Segs' place, or wherever they end up staying long-term in Boston. He gets mostly packed before he has to go get Amanda.

It's always gratifying to pick Amanda up from preschool. She positively beams at him and says, "Daddy, look what I made," and tries to simultaneously show him her picture and hold her arms up to be picked up.

He signs her out, admires her picture, and straps her into her car seat for the drive home. He waits until they're home and sitting at the table with lunch to tell her about the trade. She takes it better than he expected, even if it's not without a few tears.

There are more tears when he has to say goodbye, from both of them, and Tyler finally hugs Amanda tight, says, "You be good for Christine, and I'll see you on Saturday," and has to physically hand her to Christine.

*

It's really only been long enough to be like a long road trip when Amanda and Christine get into town and come to the rink on Saturday, but that's more than long enough that Tyler's really glad to get great big hugs from his little girl. He takes her on a tour of the rink, Christine trailing behind them while Amanda holds his hand and asks about everything they see. He ends the tour at the players' lounge, since that's where Segs is most likely to be.

Sure enough, they're barely through the door when Amanda is tearing herself away from him and flinging herself at Segs. "Uncle Tyler!"

"Ladybug!" Segs barely has time to set his Gatorade down before Amanda crashes into him and he lifts her easily into his arms.

Amanda flings her arms around his neck and holds on so tight Tyler starts to worry about Segs' ability to breathe. "We went on a airplane."

"You did," Segs says. "Was that fun?"

"I had a coloring book," Amanda says. Then her lip trembles. "I left all my friends." And then she bursts into tears.

Segs cups her head and lets her cry into his shoulder. "I know, baby."

Tyler can tell which of the guys have kids and which ones don't; the ones without kids look way more freaked out. One of the rookies looks like his eyes are about to bug out of his head.

Segs just lets her cry, until she's down to hiccupping out the last sobs, and then he takes the Kleenex Christine holds out to him and gets Amanda to blow her nose.

"Moving is always a little scary, huh?" Segs says, and Amanda nods a little against his shoulder. "You get to stay with me, though. You always like that."

Amanda nods again, and she's completely stopped crying.

"Did you see Marshall before you came to the rink?"

That gets a smile out of her. "He licked my face!"

"He licked your face?" Segs leans close, like he's telling her a secret. "He does that to me too. Those are doggy kisses."

Amanda giggles, and then her eyes go wide. "I get to see Marshall _every day_."

Segs grins at her. "Yes, you do. Every single day."

Amanda flings herself forward, practically strangling Segs again. " _Every day_!"

Segs's grin is almost as big as hers. "That's right, baby." He looks around the room, where the guys who aren't staring at him are starting to filter out. "Daddy and I have to go get ready for practice now, but we're going to see you right after."

"I want to skate!"

"Not on a game day, Ladybug. Next day off, we'll go skating, okay?"

Amanda pouts, but she also nods. "Okay."

"Good. Now, big kisses, and then you have to go with Christine." Segs turns his cheek to get a sloppy kiss from Amanda and kisses both her cheeks, her forehead, and the top of her head before he hands her to Christine.

"I'm a big girl," Amanda says, squirming until Christine puts her down. "I can walk."

Tyler crouches down to hug her. "Be good for Christine."

Amanda hugs him back and says, "Be good for Coach."

There's a muffled ripple of laughter from the guys still hanging around that turns into outright laughter when Christine and Amanda leave.

"Jesse owes me a hundred bucks," Segs says as they make their way down to the locker room.

Tyler asks, "Why's that?" even though he knows from the smirk on Segs' face that he might not want to know the answer.

"He bet you'd cry about the trade before she did."

Tyler shoves a laughing Segs into the wall, and keeps walking, but braces himself so he doesn't get knocked down when Segs jogs to catch up with him and leaps onto his back.

*

They're all used to living together during the summer, and that means getting used to living together during the season is easy enough. Tyler spends a lot of time with Amanda when he's home, and Segs settles right into joining in whatever they're doing. Having a third adult in the house means Christine gets more time off, which she seems to like, and she agrees to stay with them in Boston.

Amanda spends hours playing with an unbelievably patient Marshall, demands to be taken skating at least twice a week, and makes friends at her new preschool.

Tyler's a little tense for the first couple of weeks, but he relaxes as Amanda does, and he figures this trade might actually work out well for them.

*

Of course, Amanda's calm could only last so long, and the morning it breaks is a morning Tyler and Segs have to leave for a road trip.

"No." Amanda crosses her arms over her chest. "I don't want you to go."

"I have to, baby." Tyler crouches down next to her chair. "We'll be back in a few days, and Christine is going to take care of you while we're gone."

"No!" Amanda turns away from him. "I don't want Christine to take care of me."

They've been on so many road trips, and Tyler really thought they were past the days of Amanda's temper tantrums about it.

Tyler puts his hand on Amanda's shoulder and leaves it there even when she tries to shrug it off. "Can I get hugs and kisses before I go?"

"No." Amanda's starting to sound more teary than mad. "I don't want you to go!"

"I know, baby." Tyler puts his arms around her and kisses the top of her head. "I love you. We'll be back in a few days. Be good for Christine."

He switches places with Segs, who puts his arms around Amanda and says, "I want lots of ladybug hugs when we get home." He kisses the top of her head too. "Love you, Ladybug."

It's hell walking out of the house with Amanda's sniffles behind them, but Tyler makes himself put one foot in front of the other and follow Segs out to the car.

When they get to the rink, Krejci throws one arm around each of their shoulders and says, "What's up with you two?" It draws more attention than Tyler really wants.

"I know that look," Marchy says. "You're only as happy as your least happy child, right?"

Segs leans around Krejci to give Tyler a look he's too stressed out to be able to figure out right now.

Tyler ducks out of Krejci's hold and goes over to talk to Marchy without having everyone listen in. "Amanda freaked out about us leaving this morning. We go on roadtrips all the time."

"Kids." Marchy shrugs. "It happens. All three of mine all freak out about it sometimes." And his oldest is pretty old, for a kid, and also a stepkid.

"What do you do about it?"

"Play hockey," Marchy says. "Call home, tell them I love them." Marchy claps him on the shoulder. "It'll be better next time."

Tyler can't do anything but trust him, and Marchy has three kids' worth of experience to draw on, so he takes his usual seat on the bus to the airport and does his best not to let it take him too far away from the experience of traveling with his team.

It slams into him when they get to the hotel, and on the way in, Segs nudges him in the side and says, "I gave the rookies my key to fight over. I'm sharing with you."

It's probably good; he wasn't going to stop thinking about it once they were quiet and settled anyway, and this way at least he won't be totally stuck in his head. Segs doesn't really look any happier than he does though, but they're close enough that they can be in bad moods at each other and come out okay on the other side.

Segs also doesn't bug him when he takes a nap instead of hanging out, even if he does bug him about going out for dinner.

"You can't just sit here and sulk," Segs says. His mouth tightens into a thin line. "I'm not, and I'm not going to let you either."

Tyler wasn't the only one Amanda wouldn't hug goodbye, so he lets Segs drag him out for dinner with a bunch of the other guys.

His phone buzzes with Amanda's bedtime reminder while they're still ordering drinks. He takes it outside; there's a bench halfway down the block that he heads for while he dials.

Christine picks up and says, "She calmed down later."

Tyler lets out a breath. "Good. How's she doing now?"

"Just fine. We were getting ready for bed." She raises her voice a little. "Amanda, do you want to say goodnight to Daddy?"

Tyler can hear Amanda's enthusiastic agreement in the background before she takes the phone and says, "Hi, Daddy."

"Hi, sweetheart. How was your day?"

"Okay."

"Yeah? What did you do?"

Instead of answering his question, Amanda says, "Daddy, I miss you."

"I miss you too. I'll be back in a week." Tyler looks up at the footsteps coming his way and scoots down the bench a little so there's room for Segs to sit next to him.

"That's _forever_."

Tyler smiles at the way she drags out the syllables. "I know it feels like that."

Segs nudges him in the shoulder and makes a gesture for the phone.

It feels a little like ducking out of the conversation, but Tyler says, "Do you want to talk to Uncle Tyler?"

"Yes!"

Tyler passes the phone over, and listens to Segs' side of the conversation as he somehow gets Amanda to tell him about her day.

"It's almost bedtime for you," Segs finally says. "I'm going to give the phone back to Daddy so you can say goodnight to him." He smiles at whatever Amanda says. "I love you too, Ladybug. Goodnight."

Segs doesn't leave, just leans his shoulder against Tyler's while Amanda says, "Daddy, I drawed you a picture today."

"Did you?"

"Yes!"

"You can have Christine take a picture for me before you go to bed."

"Yeah," Amanda says. "I want you to tuck me in."

"I can't tonight," Tyler says. "But I'll have Christine give you extra hugs and kisses for me, okay?"

Amanda's agreeing, "Okay," is only a little sulky.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Goodnight, baby. Give the phone to Christine."

"Night, Daddy."

Christine says, "Go pick out a story," to Amanda before she says, "She's okay," to Tyler.

"Yeah, I guess." Tyler rubs his forehead. "I told her you'd give her extra hugs and kisses for me, and send me a picture of what she drew."

"Will do."

Tyler does have absolute faith in Christine's abilities, so that helps, a little. He turns his phone off and leans back against the bench. Segs shifts with him, so they're pressed together shoulder to shoulder.

"Do you remember," Segs asks, "when she was a baby and we'd just watch her sleep?"

Tyler closes his eyes. "Yeah. We could do that for hours. Hard to believe that was four years ago." He can feel Segs' eyes on him even though Segs doesn't say anything. "What?"

"Do you ever want more kids?"

Tyler opens his eyes and looks at Segs, who shrugs at him.

"You never said. When you had Amanda, you just said you wanted to be a dad."

"I am a dad now," Tyler says. "I don't really think about it. Amanda's my baby. I don't need another one."

Segs looks at him for a little longer, and then elbows him in the side and stands up. "Come on. It's cold out here and those assholes probably ordered without us."

*

They go out for drinks after dinner, since they're out of town. Tyler stopped drinking much when Amanda was born, and his tolerance is for shit now, so he sticks to just two beers and the shot Segs insists he take.

Segs drinks to just below the level where he's likely to do something embarrassing, which is still enough that Tyler hooks his shoulder under Segs' arm to help him back to their room. He shoves Segs into the bathroom first to brush his teeth and drink a bunch of water, and then they switch places, and Tyler comes out of the bathroom to find Segs in the bed that's supposed to be his.

"Stealing my bed is not cool."

"Not stealing." Segs holds up the covers. "Sharing."

Tyler rolls his eyes and goes to the other bed.

"Dude," Segs says, "don't make me get up and get in bed with you over there. I'll do it," he adds when Tyler hesitates.

"You're a real pain in my ass." Tyler gets into bed, turns off the light, and lets Segs maneuver them around so Segs is spooning him. "Really?"

"Shhh," Segs says. "You had a bad day."

"I'm not a four-year-old you can cuddle into feeling better. And it didn't work on the four-year-old this morning either."

Segs' sigh is a gust of breath on the back of his neck. "Stop worrying. She loves you, and she knows you love her."

Tyler thinks about the way she turned away from him before they left. "She was so mad."

"She's four," Segs says. "She'll get over it." He snuggles into Tyler the same way Tyler's seen him pull Amanda closer. "Anyone who talks to you for five minutes knows how much you love her. She knows."

Despite Tyler hassling Segs about it, being held is weirdly comforting, and he holds on to Segs' certainty that Amanda knows how much he loves her and lets that and Segs' warmth lull him into sleep.

*

Tyler texts Christine when they land at Logan so she knows when to expect them back. Amanda still sounded sad about them being gone, but she dealt with it better as the week went on. That doesn't mean Tyler's any less excited to see her. It has him smiling when they get off the bus at the rink. A short car ride and they'll be home.

"Daddy!"

Tyler looks up from his attempt to fish the car keys out of his bag as he walks, and gives it up so he can catch Amanda when she runs into him.

"Hi, baby." Tyler scoops her up and holds her as tightly as he can without hurting her.

Amanda buries her face in his neck. "Daddy, Daddy, I missed you."

"Oh, baby, I missed you too."

Amanda pulls back to place a sloppy kiss on his cheek. "You're home!"

Tyler's face hurts with how hard he's smiling. "Yep. Let's go home."

"What about me?" Segs asks. "Don't I get ladybug hugs too?"

Amanda says, "Yes," and holds her arms out to him. Tyler lets Segs take her and finds the keys while they walk to where Christine is waiting for them.

"We took a cab," she says, "so we can ride back with you."

Tyler and Segs dump their bags into the back of the car, and Segs says, "Give me the keys. I'll drive, and you can sit in the back with the ladybug."

They make the exchange, keys for Amanda, and Tyler says, "Thanks."

Segs squeezes his shoulder. "Four years," he says, "and you're still all starry-eyed."

*

Amanda scrunches up her face on the verge of a tantrum when Tyler says, "Bedtime." Tyler doesn't give in to it and starts calmly putting the toy cars he's been racing with her into their box. "We'll still be here tomorrow. It's time to clean up."

His calm, or his praying for her to stay calm, works, and she dumps toys into the toybox and goes with him for her bath and to brush her teeth. Tyler lets her pick out a book, and Segs comes in to sit on the floor next to her bed while Tyler reads and Amanda points out the pictures.

"Another one," Amanda demands when they get to the end of the book.

"What do you say?"

"Please?"

Tyler kisses the top of her head. "Okay, but only one more, and then it's time to sleep." He doesn't let her get out of bed and run across the room for it herself, but Segs goes over to her bookshelf and holds up books until she says, "That one!"

She falls asleep before Tyler even gets halfway through the book. He carefully shifts her off his lap onto the bed and puts both books on the shelf while Segs leans his head against the edge of the bed and watches her sleep.

Tyler holds out a hand to pull Segs up, and they quietly leave the room and close the door most of the way behind them.

"You could have let me watch her sleep," Segs says.

"I didn't want you falling asleep on her floor." Tyler yawns, and chuckles a little when it makes Segs yawn too. "I think it's bedtime for us too."

"Glamorous life of a hockey player."

Tyler checks in with Christine to let her know they're going to bed, and then he takes a quick shower to wash off the lingering feel of travel. Sometimes he thinks it never quite goes away, but a night in his own bed with his baby girl just down the hall helps make everything feel normal again.

What's not normal is Segs in his bed.

"Do I even want to know what you're doing here?" Tyler pulls on his pajama pants and a t-shirt and sets an alarm on his phone before he gets into bed.

Segs turns over and moves around until his back is against Tyler's chest. "You're not the only one who gets lonely and sad about traveling all the time."

Tyler knows Segs' penchant for cuddling well enough that he doesn't even bother trying to kick him out. He just puts his arm over Segs and makes himself comfortable.

He thinks Segs is falling asleep - he is - so it's something of a surprise when Segs says, "Remember that time in Plymouth?"

There are a lot of times he could be referring to, but pressed together in the dark, Tyler knows which one he means. He means the time Tyler's billets were out and Segs came over and they made out on Tyler's bed for a couple of hours.

"Yes."

Segs is quiet for long enough that Tyler thinks that's it, but then Segs' hand finds his arm in the dark, and his fingers are hot against Tyler's skin. "We never did that again."

They didn't. Segs went home to his own billets before curfew, they didn't talk about it, and it didn't happen again, even though Tyler had thought about it sometimes. A couple of weeks later, though, he'd started hanging out with a girl who worked concessions at the rink, and Tyler didn't really think about that time he made out with Segs anymore.

"No."

Segs sighs a little and Tyler's not sure what he's supposed to be getting out of this conversation.

Segs holds tight to his arm. "Whatever," he says, not like he's dismissing it, but like he's letting them out of the conversation. "Go to sleep."

Tyler lies awake and listens to Segs' breathing in the dark until sometime after Segs falls asleep.

*

Tyler's alarm goes off too early, and he stumbles out of bed and into the shower so he can be at least a little awake to get Amanda up. She crinkles up her face when he goes in to wake her up, but then she opens her eyes and smiles at him.

"Daddy."

"Good morning, sweetheart." Tyler kisses her cheek. "Ready to get up and have breakfast?"

Amanda puts her arms around his neck, and he carries her out to the kitchen where he slices half a banana into a bowl of Cheerios and sits across from her and lets her talk to him about her friends at preschool in between bites.

He wipes her face with a napkin and supervises while she washes her hands and picks out clothes for the day. It means an interesting combination of purple pants and a bright yellow Bruins shirt, but Tyler's trying to let her learn to make her own decisions, and he's seen worse things at her preschool and amongst her friends.

It's only when he's buckling her into her carseat that she asks, "Where's Christine?"

"I'm home today," Tyler tells her, "so she's taking the day off. I'll come pick you up too." He closes the door and goes around the car to get into the driver's seat.

"And Uncle Tyler too?"

Tyler smiles at her hopeful face in the rearview mirror. "I don't know. I'll tell him you want him to come, and maybe he will."

That satisfies her, and then she asks for the playlist Segs made for her, so they listen to mostly kid appropriate dance music all the way to her school.

Amanda holds his hand and stays with him all the way into the school where he signs her in and bends down to hug her.

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too. Go have fun, and I'll see you in a couple of hours." Tyler kisses her cheek and watches her run off to join some of the other kids before he leaves.

The house is mostly quiet when he gets home, but he can hear a shower going somewhere, so he makes enough breakfast for two. He guessed right, and it's Segs who comes into the kitchen and leans on the counter while Tyler finishes making breakfast.

"Amanda wants you to come with to pick her up from school," Tyler tells him.

Segs nods. "Cool. We getting her after skate?"

"Yeah. I was thinking we could take her out for lunch. Christine's off today."

"Sounds good to me. Then we can all have naptime." Segs punctuates this with a yawn.

They eat at the table and move around each other easily to rinse the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

"Did you want to do it again?" Tyler asks before Segs can wander off somewhere else.

Segs isn't his best in the morning, so Tyler has to wait for him to catch up. "Oh," Segs says. "Yeah. I mean, it was the hottest thing that had ever happened to me, and then it just didn't ever happen again."

Happened to him. Tyler remembers Segs being just as active a participant as Tyler was. Segs has always been hot, and it was one of the hottest things Tyler had ever done too. Even if this turns out to be a bad idea, he and Segs are always going to be solid, so he crosses the kitchen and kisses Segs.

Segs makes a surprised noise into his mouth, and then he kisses back, and it's good. He's gotten better at this over the years, and he walks them back a little until Tyler's back is against the fridge, magnets pressing into him and Amanda's drawings crinkling under them.

Tyler gets his hands up the back of Segs' shirt, and Segs makes hungry little noises into his mouth. It's not tame. It's messy and wet and they're both hard, but it doesn't go any farther than that.

Tyler puts his hands on Segs' chest after a while and looks at the clock over Segs' shoulder. "We have skate in forty-five minutes. And Christine is here somewhere."

Segs rest his head on Tyler's shoulder for a few seconds before he pushes himself off. "Leave in fifteen?"

"Yeah." That'll give them enough time to get to the rink and suit up and still make it onto the ice on time. And it's probably going to take that long for his erection to go down. If he doesn't jerk off first.

*

They go straight from the rink to Amanda's school, and Segs gets out of the car to come in with Tyler. Tyler stops to check in with one of the teachers while he signs Amanda out. Amanda notices them while he's doing that and runs over with a piece of paper in one hand.

"Uncle Tyler, look what I drawed for you!"

Segs crouches down and holds the other side of Amanda's drawing.

"That's you and me and Daddy and Christine and Marshall."

"It's beautiful. I love it. Thank you, Ladybug." Segs takes it from her. "Can you go get your coat?"

Amanda runs off and comes back with her coat. They have to wait for her to get it zipped up, and then Tyler waves goodbye to the teachers and follows Segs and Amanda out to the car. Segs takes the keys, and Tyler buckles Amanda into her car seat.

"We're taking you out to lunch," Tyler tells Amanda. "Do you want a sandwich or do you want dumplings?"

They wait for her to consider her options. "Can I have french fries?"

Tyler says, "With your sandwich," and Segs starts the car. There's a place they like that's not too far away, and the waitress smiles at them and brings crayons and paper for Amanda to draw on.

Before Amanda can get too involved in her coloring, Tyler asks her, "What kind of jam do you want on your sandwich?" He sometimes orders her the grilled cheese, but peanut butter and jelly seems healthier if he's also letting her have fries.

"Ra-berry."

Tyler glances at the menu to make sure raspberry is an option. "Raspberry it is." The kids' sandwiches come with carrot slices, which he wants her to eat, so instead of substituting, he orders a side of fries for the three of them to share.

Tyler and Segs talk about practice and tomorrow's game while Amanda amuses herself with the crayons and asks a question about their lines that has Segs drawing her a diagram on the back of her paper.

When their food comes, Tyler puts a handful of fries and some ketchup on Amanda's plate and moves the plate of fries out of her reach.

Amanda gets peanut butter and jelly and ketchup all over her face and hands - Tyler is still baffled by how much of a mess she can make just in the process of eating, even though his parents say he was the same way - and Tyler does his best to clean her up with napkins before their waitress brings over a couple of wet wipes in tiny foil packets. Tyler vetoes dessert and makes sure Segs leaves a really good tip when he gets to the check before Tyler does.

Amanda's almost asleep by the time they get home. She fusses for a minute when Tyler takes her to her room, but she falls asleep almost the moment he puts her to bed.

Tyler goes to his own room for a nap. He's not quite sure what he's going to find, but his bed is empty and Segs' door is closed.

*

Their evening is normal. Segs makes dinner and Tyler builds Lego structures with Amanda. They watch an episode of _Wild Animal Baby Explorers_ , which sends Amanda to her room to drag out a small stack of books of animal pictures that they turn slowly while she points out things about the animals and Tyler and Segs take turns reading her their names and the facts about them that go with the pictures.

Amanda goes to bed easily, but it takes them reading through four books before she falls asleep clutching at the edge of Tyler's shirt where he sits on the edge of her bed. He carefully gets himself free without waking her, and Segs keeps his amusement to a silent grin.

Tyler and Segs watch a couple of episodes of grown-up TV off the DVR and go to bed early. Or Tyler means to go to bed early. He brushes his teeth and changes into pajamas, and then gets pushed into his bed by Segs.

"You have your own room."

"You're not in it." Segs climbs in with him, and instead of tucking himself into Tyler in whatever way he wants to cuddle, he kisses him. They're both lying on their sides, and they're not cuddled together, just kissing with one of Segs' arms thrown over his shoulders.

It's tame, not that there isn't tongue, because there so is, but it's not like this morning. At least it's not until Segs rolls him over and climbs on top of him. Then it's a lot more like this morning, and Tyler gets his hands under Segs' shirt because fuck if he's not going to get to touch all of that if they're doing this.

Segs has to agree with him, because he gets shirt off without moving away from Tyler hardly at all, and he groans into Tyler's mouth when Tyler gets his hands all over him.

Segs doesn't leave him hanging, either. He grinds down into Tyler, and they're both hard, and fuck, there are no billets they have to listen out for, just Amanda, and she's asleep.

"You locked the door, right?" Tyler asks.

"Yes." Segs bites Tyler's lip. "Are you seriously thinking about that right now?"

Tyler puts his hands on Segs' ass and pulls down. "I don't want to stop, and we'll have to if Amanda wakes up."

Segs groans and grips Tyler's shoulders. "Oh my God, that's not going to happen. Shut up and just." He stops talking and rubs against Tyler while he kisses him. It's even hotter than it was the time in Plymouth.

Tyler turns them over after a while, because he's just as into this as Segs is, and there's no reason Segs should get the monopoly on grinding down into him. Segs takes advantage of it and tugs Tyler's shirt off, and fuck, why didn't he think of that earlier? With both their shirts off, there's a lot more skin on skin. Segs is still making noise into his mouth, and every time Tyler pulls back at all, he can see that he's leaving beard burn all over Segs' face. It's so hot he works on kissing Segs' neck to spread it over more of his skin.

"Can we?" Segs asks, and he pulls Tyler's pajama pants and boxer briefs down off his hips.

Tyler hisses at how much closer his cock is to Segs' this way, and he lets Segs turn them over again. They get in each other's way when they both try to get at Segs' pajama pants at the same time, but it only takes a frantic moment before they're out of the way and Segs is rubbing his cock against Tyler with nothing between them.

Segs groans, and Tyler puts a hand over his mouth.

"Shhh. You have to be quiet." There's Amanda, and Christine wasn't home when they went to bed, but she might be now.

Segs bites him, lightly, but Tyler still takes his hand away.

"I don't know if I can be," Segs says. "This is so fucking hot."

"I know." Tyler kisses him, and gets his hands on Segs' ass, which is even better without anything covering it. "But try. Fuck." He mouths at Segs' jaw where it's red from the rub of Tyler's stubble.

"Fuck," Segs echoes, and he tilts his head up so Tyler can get at his neck.

Tyler scrapes his cheek over the thin skin of Segs' neck, and mouths at it. Segs would probably let him leave a hickey, but he doesn't suck that hard. He does dig his fingers into Segs' ass a little harder, and it takes a second, but he gets Segs to move so they're lined up better.

Segs gets loud, and he kisses Tyler before Tyler even moves a hand away from his ass to make him be quiet. It's not really _quiet_ , but it's quieter with Segs making noise into his mouth.

Tyler opens his mouth to Segs, takes in the sound, and rubs up against him. He doesn't know how long they do that. It could be minutes, could be hours. It all just collapses into now, into making out so much his mouth feels swollen, into Segs' hands touching him, into their cocks hard between them.

Tyler's surprised when he comes. He shouldn't be - they're naked and hard and rubbing up against each other - but he is. Because they didn't go this far before, probably.

His brain fuzzes out into just pleasure, and he bites Segs' lip when he's trying not to be too loud about it.

"Come on," Segs is saying when there's more than just emptiness in Tyler's head. "Come on, just, please."

It's too much to have Segs grinding on his softening dick, but Tyler only pushes him away far enough to get his hand on Segs' cock, and he jerks him off with fast, sharp strokes.

"Yeah," Segs mutters, "yeah," and Tyler kisses him to keep him quiet. It's a good thing too, because even then his yell when he comes is pretty loud.

Tyler keeps jerking him off until Segs pushes his hand away, and then Segs pretty much collapses on him and they keep kissing for long enough that it's pretty gross when Segs rolls off him.

Tyler makes a face at the mess and grabs at the Kleenex on the nightstand. It doesn't do a whole lot to make it better, but it's enough that he can pull his clothes on and be comfortable enough to sleep.

Segs has his own handful of tissue, and he doesn't put his shirt back on, just his pants. He looks at Tyler for a minute, and then says, "Roll over. I'll be the big spoon."

Tyler rolls his eyes but lets Segs do what he wants. "I'm not so freaked out I need to be cuddled into submission."

"Submission," Segs snickers. "Kinky."

"Asshole. Shut up and go to sleep." He thinks for a minute that it's going to work, but he should know better; it doesn't work any better on Segs than it does on Amanda when she doesn't want to go to bed, and it probably wouldn't even if he were as nice about it as he is with Amanda.

"No, but really," Segs says, and Tyler can tell from his tone that it's a real question, "we're cool?"

"Yes, Tyler." Tyler reaches his hand back and pats some part of Segs he doesn't bother trying to identify. "We're good. That was good."

"Good," Segs says. He apparently takes that as license to get even more handsy, because instead of just throwing his arm around Tyler, he gets his hand up under Tyler's shirt, and he kisses the back of Tyler's neck and then stays so close Tyler can feel it every time he breathes.

Tyler doesn't stop him. It doesn't bother him, is nice, even, and there's pretty much nothing of him left that Segs hasn't already touched.

*

Tyler wakes up early, and it doesn't seem weird at all to have Segs in bed with him. He'd consider morning sex, but Segs is still out cold, and doesn't wake up when Tyler nudges him a little. Segs moves when Tyler gets out of bed, but only to roll over a little and smash his face into Tyler's pillow.

Tyler leaves him to it and jerks off in the shower.

Christine already has Amanda up when Tyler leaves his room, and they're in the kitchen where Christine is making Amanda's breakfast while Amanda leans on the table with both elbows and watches her.

"Good morning, baby." Tyler kisses the top of Amanda's head and goes to the fridge for some juice.

"Good morning, Daddy." Amanda turns to watch him but still seems a little sleepy.

Tyler says, "Morning," to Christine too, and pours two glasses of juice. He puts the smaller, plastic one in front of Amanda. She wraps both hands around it and drinks carefully, then puts it down and pushes it out of the way when Christine gives her a bowl of cereal.

"Skate and a game today?" Christine asks.

"Yep." Tyler sits down next to Amanda and watches her eat. "Skate's late enough that I can take Amanda to school."

"Can I watch your game?" Amanda asks through a mouthful of cereal.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Tyler reminds her. "You can watch the beginning, but you still have to go to bed on time."

Amanda very obviously finishes swallowing her next bite of cereal before she says, "Kay."

Tyler finishes his juice while Amanda eats, and he gets her dressed and ready for school. She's not very chatty on the way there, but she hugs Tyler tight and then runs off to her friends after he signs her in, so it's probably just a quiet morning.

Segs is in the kitchen when Tyler gets home, bleary-eyed and shirtless, with his hair everywhere and eggs on the stove.

Tyler nudges him out of the way. "You're going to burn something." He takes over the eggs and lets Segs make their protein shakes.

"Christine went back to bed," Segs mumbles, so Tyler only gets down two plates.

He throws some bread in the toaster, divvies it and the eggs onto the plates, and carries them to the table. Segs brings the protein shakes, and Tyler gets forks. If Segs is having a morning when he doesn't want to wake up, it's probably better not to let him go rummaging through a drawer full of sharp objects.

They don't talk while they eat, but Segs seems more awake by the time they're done. Awake enough that Tyler makes him put his own dishes away. And then awake enough to corner Tyler against the counter and kiss him.

Tyler lets it go on for a minute before he pushes Segs away. "Gross, dude. Go brush your teeth."

Segs makes a face at him. "You said we were good."

"We're good when you're not making me taste your morning breath. Go brush your teeth."

Instead of doing that, Segs leans his forehead on Tyler's shoulder. He says, "Game day," and Tyler knows what he means; game day means they have routines to observe and things to do, and making out isn't on the list.

Tyler cups the back of Segs' head for a moment. He'd rather make out too. "Next time brush your teeth first."

Segs makes that same face at him again. "You've become really boring."

Tyler laughs and shoves him away. "I get enough gross in my life with a preschooler and hockey. I don't need it from you too."

Segs wanders off. To his own room, Tyler finds when he goes to get ready for practice and his room is empty. That's fine; they have game day routines to take care of. They go to skate, have lunch at home with Amanda, take naps, and head back to the rink.

They win, and Tyler tries to get out of going out with the other guys after the game, but Segs wraps an arm around his shoulder and gets Marchy to hem him in on the other side.

"The ladybug's asleep anyway," Segs says. "And Christine's there. And you never come out with us. You're coming."

There are times, Tyler has learned, that it's better to just give in, and this is one of those times.

He doesn't drink much, but Segs does, enough to hang all over Tyler on the way home, and enough that Tyler has to remind him to be quiet so they don't wake Amanda and Christine up.

Tyler tries to drop Segs in a bed, but he insists on clinging to Tyler while he looks in on Amanda. At least he doesn't wake her up, even if he does bury his face in Tyler's shoulder and say, muffled enough that Tyler can barely hear him, "I can't believe how big she is."

Tyler backs them out of the doorway, closes the door as quietly as possible, and pats Segs' shoulder. "All right, dude, you're wasted. Time for bed."

"Your bed," Segs insists, so Tyler takes Segs with him into his room and makes him hang up his suit before he crawls into bed.

Tyler turns around from taking off his own suit to find that Segs has been watching him.

"I'm not too drunk to get it up," Segs says, and as if to prove it, he's rubbing himself through his boxer briefs. "Come here. I'll blow you."

"You don't need to get it up to blow me," Tyler says. He locks the door, though, and lets Segs manhandle him down onto the bed in the position most comfortable for Segs. Segs' idea of a blowjob, or at least what he can manage while drunk, is messy and sloppy and very, very wet. It's also louder than Tyler would have guessed Segs could be with his mouth mostly full of cock. Still, a blowjob is a blowjob, and it's hot even beyond that, and Segs swallows when Tyler comes, which is almost as hot as the rest of it.

Segs kisses him after, which isn't as gross as it could be, although Segs is still pretty sloppy.

"You should blow me now," Segs says, and Tyler would be willing to, but if Segs couldn't stay quiet while he was sucking Tyler off, he doesn't have a lot of faith in his ability to be quiet while on the other side of things.

Tyler kisses him and gets his cock out, and Segs whines into his mouth and goes with it.

That only lasts so long before Segs pushes him away and says, "No, wait. I wanted you to blow me."

Tyler considers it for a second, and then he puts his hand over Segs' mouth and twists so he can keep it there while he gets his mouth on Segs' cock. It's almost not enough, and he has to resort to sticking his fingers in Segs' mouth to keep him quiet when he comes.

Segs moans a little when Tyler takes his mouth off of his cock and his hand away from his mouth, and he grabs at Tyler before Tyler can even think about getting cleaned up or putting on pajamas.

"No, no," Segs says. "You have to come here. Fuck, that was so good." He wraps himself around Tyler like an octopus, and Tyler has to resort to a little creative movement to get them under the blankets.

"So good," Segs mutters into his neck.

"So drunk," Tyler says, and Segs barks out a laugh.

"Both," he says, and it's not like Tyler disagrees with that.

*

Tyler doesn't expect much from Segs in the morning, and he doesn't get it. Segs isn't even up when he gets back from taking Amanda to school. Christine is still hanging around, so Tyler eats breakfast with her and then decides that second game day in a row or not, he's going back to bed.

Segs barely moves when Tyler gets into bed with him, but he's annoying as fuck when he manages to kick Tyler trying to get up when his alarm goes off later.

"You're a disaster," Tyler mutters at him. "You deserve every bit of your hangover."

Segs groans, and Tyler looks up to watch him stretch. "No," Segs says, "I feel good." Tyler flips him off, and Segs laughs. "Win, drinks with the boys, blowjob." Segs crawls back into bed and presses a long but close-mouthed kiss to Tyler's lips. "We should do that again today."

Tyler puts one arm around Segs as he sits up, so he doesn't knock him all the way off the bed. "All right, cowboy, go get ready for practice."

"Cowboy?" Segs laughs. "Really?"

"You kicked me awake," Tyler says.

"Poor baby. Want me to kiss it better?" Segs makes a kissy face at him, and this time Tyler does shove him off the bed. Segs is enough of an athlete to keep himself from falling totally on his ass, and he leaves the room still laughing.

*

They lose, which means they don't go out after the game and they're both in bad moods when they get home. Tyler has to catch the front door to keep it from slamming when Segs pushes at it too hard. Segs makes a face at him that's what passes for apology when he's in that kind of mood. Tyler just pushes him farther into the house.

He checks in on Amanda and isn't surprised when his room is empty and Segs' door is closed.

*

Tyler's not expecting much the next morning either, but when he gets Amanda up, Segs is already in the kitchen making breakfast. He gives Amanda a small plate of eggs and a single slice of bacon and makes up larger plates for himself, Tyler, and Christine.

"We can pick up Amanda from school after practice," Segs tells Christine. "We don't have to be back at the rink until five."

Tyler keeps an eye on Amanda, but she's too involved with the relative novelty of eggs for breakfast to have noticed that they're talking about a travel day instead of a game day.

Christine takes Amanda to get dressed after breakfast, and Segs and Tyler clear the table and put dishes in the dishwasher.

Tyler pushes Segs up against the counter when his hands are empty. Segs smiles at him, not his usual bright grin, but something smaller, something more like an invitation. Tyler spends a minute kissing it off his face before he steps away.

Segs says, "We could let Christine take the ladybug to school," but he doesn't try to keep Tyler from moving away.

Tyler squeezes Segs' hip. "Amanda will take a nap after lunch. You can jerk off and take your own car to the rink if you can't wait."

"I was ready to wait until you said that."

Tyler grins at him unrepentantly and isn't surprised to find that Segs is ready to leave when he and Amanda are.

*

Segs barely waits for Amanda to fall asleep for her nap before he's dragging Tyler into his room.

"Someday," Segs says while he's kissing Tyler and trying to get their clothes off, "we're going to do this when they aren't home and we can make all the noise we want."

Tyler pushes him away and strips, because it's not happening while they make out. "You're such a screamer you'd have to get rid of the whole block."

Segs pushes him down onto the bed. "I don't care if the neighbors hear me."

Tyler laughs and grabs his ass. "You get much louder and Christine's going to figure it out."

Segs groans and rolls his hips against Tyler's. "Stop talking about the nanny while I'm hard."

Tyler bites Segs' lip instead of talking, and Segs keeps himself quiet by kissing Tyler while they get off.

Tyler dozes with Segs still lying mostly on him, which makes for an uncomfortable couple of minutes when they separate and get up later.

"You know she's probably already figured it out," Segs says when they're cleaning up in the bathroom. "Christine. She lives with us."

"Yeah," Tyler admits, because Christine isn't stupid and they haven't been very careful about what they've been doing.

"Chill, dude." Segs bumps their shoulders together. "Christine's cool."

Tyler hopes so and, he thinks later, knowing they're hooking up is probably less of an issue in her life than having to deal with Amanda's unhappiness about their road trip.

*

They don't hook up on the road. Segs doesn't even worm his way into Tyler's room at any point, although he does show up when Tyler calls Amanda to take his turn talking to her. She's calmer this time around, and mostly happy to chatter away at them and laugh at Segs' preschooler-appropriate stories about the other guys.

It's only a two-game road trip anyway, and they get home to a quiet and dark house late after the second. Segs follows Tyler when he goes to check in on Amanda, and after Tyler closes the door to her room softly, he takes Segs' hand and pulls him into his room.

"Miss me?" Segs laughs when Tyler locks the door and pushes him toward the bed.

"Yes," Tyler says. He detours to the closet so they can get rid of their coats, and then he pushes Segs down onto the bed, follows him down, and kisses him.

Segs goes with it so easily. He wraps his arms around Tyler, doesn't try to move them at all, except to change the angle of the kiss.

They make out for a long time without doing anything else, until Segs twists his head to the side and yawns.

"Sorry, dude. Too much traveling."

Tyler rolls off of Segs. It's not like he's any less tired.

Segs wriggles out of his clothes, and Tyler's cock, which is already half-hard, twitches with interest, but he doesn't do anything about it, just watches Segs scoot up the bed and then under Tyler's covers.

"At least take your pants off and get in here," Segs says. "You're going to get cold."

"You just want to cuddle," Tyler accuses without heat.

Segs doesn't deny it, and he cuddles close when Tyler kicks his pants off, lets his shirt drop to the floor, and gets under the covers with him.

*

They got in late enough that they sleep through Christine taking Amanda to school and don't wake up until midmorning. Tyler's sticking to his no making out until after they've brushed their teeth rule, but he nuzzles at Segs' neck when he starts making waking up noises.

"Mmm," Segs says. He tilts his head, and Tyler follows the movement, biting at his neck as it becomes open to him. "Afternoon practice?"

"Yes." Tyler runs a hand down Segs' chest. "Plenty of time."

"Good." Segs stretches under Tyler's hand and then rolls onto his side and opens his eyes. "Hey."

Tyler smiles at him, just short of a laugh. "Hey."

Segs tilts his head. "Go back to what you were doing. That was good."

Tyler does laugh then, softly, and he strokes Segs' chest while he nuzzles at his neck and jaw.

He slides his hand lower after a while, under the waistband of Segs' boxer briefs, and he takes Segs' cock in a loose grip. It's just as lazy and unhurried as last night, and after a little while Segs gets his hand on Tyler's cock and they jerk each other off in a slow, easy rhythm. Segs isn't even loud when he comes, just sighs and flexes his hand around Tyler.

Tyler bites into Segs' neck when he comes a couple of minutes later.

Segs stretches again, only a little more awake than earlier. "That's a way better way to wake up than an alarm."

"Not always practical." Tyler reaches for his phone to see just what time it is, and then remembers that it's still in the pocket of his pants on the floor and he has to get out of bed to get to it.

It's not too late - he turns the phone so Segs can see when he demands it - so Tyler leaves Segs in bed and gets in the shower.

Segs is still there when he gets out.

"Lazy ass," Tyler says.

Segs doesn't bother to deny it, and he wolf whistles when Tyler tosses his towel on the foot of the bed and turns around to get clean clothes out of the closet.

"Are you getting up?"

Segs crosses his arms behind his head. "I'm enjoying the show."

Tyler raises his eyebrows. "I'm getting less naked by the second."

Segs' frank appraisal makes Tyler's cock twitch even though it's too soon for him to get it up again. "You're hotter than you think you are."

*

Things go on like that. On the road, everything is the way it was before. At home they make out easily when they have time and frantically when they're up against a clock, spend most nights together in one or the other of their beds, dodge Christine's occasional knowing looks, and spend afternoons and evenings with Amanda.

Then they go on a four-game road trip with a day off in the middle. They go out with a bunch of the guys the night before it - they won, so everyone's in a good mood - and Tyler watches one of the rookies try to flirt at the bar and realizes he and Segs have been hooking up for six weeks.

It's not like Tyler's been celibate for the better part of five years. He's been on a couple of dates, hooked up more than he's dated, but it's never been anything like this. It's never lasted long, and it's never been anyone who'd even met Amanda, much less someone who's known her since she was a baby, never mind someone who _lives_ with them.

Thinking about it wears Tyler out, enough that when they get home during Amanda's afternoon nap, he heads straight to his room and crashes for a while. It's late when he wakes up, not quite late enough to be dinner time, but getting there, and he splashes water on his face to wake himself all the way up and goes looking for Amanda.

He finds her in the living room, sitting on Segs' lap on the couch, a book open on her lap and Segs pointing to the words as he reads to her. They don't notice him, so Tyler leans in the doorway and watches them. Segs and Amanda beam at each other every time Amanda points out something on the page and names it correctly.

Tyler was stupid to have started this. Sure, he and Segs will probably be solid no matter what, but there's still a chance they won't be, and it would break Amanda's heart if anything happened that took Segs out of her life.

Segs notices him before Amanda does, and smiles at him, but he doesn't say anything until they get to the end of the page. "You're up. Good nap?"

"Daddy!" Amanda grins at him. "We're reading."

Tyler nods at Segs and says, "I see that," to Amanda.

"Come read with us!" Amanda pats the couch right next to them, so Tyler goes to sit there, thigh to thigh with Segs. Amanda leaves the book with Segs and clambers onto Tyler's lap. "Uncle Tyler is reading me a story."

Tyler puts his arms around Amanda and kisses the top of her head. "I see that, baby."

Segs grins at him and waits for Amanda to get settled before he keeps reading. They switch books when Segs gets to the end, and Amanda crawls back to Segs' lap halfway through the second one. Tyler stays for a couple of minutes longer, but then he kisses Amanda's temple and goes to help Christine with dinner.

The four of them eat together, and then Segs helps Christine clean up while Tyler gets Amanda ready for bed. Christine goes to her room not long after that, and then it's just Tyler and Segs in the living room.

Segs gets a sly look on his face, and he straddles Tyler's lap on the couch. Tyler puts his hands on Segs' hips and kisses him back, because he really, really likes hooking up with Segs, and he wants to make out with him for a bit before he says anything.

He doesn't let it go on for very long, though, before he tilts his head away from Segs' mouth. "What are we doing here?"

Segs kisses Tyler's jaw and nips at his neck. "Making out. When you remember we're in the living room and get paranoid, we'll go to bed and fool around."

Tyler uses his hold on Segs' hips to push him back a little. He can't push him too far or he'll fall on his ass on the floor, but he can make his point. "No," he says, "I got that. I mean, what are we doing? This whole hooking up thing."

"Enjoying ourselves." Segs doesn't try to kiss him again, but he still has his arms looped over Tyler's shoulders. "Having fun."

They're maybe too close for him to take it there, but Tyler keeps going anyway. "I can't just have fun with someone who's not serious about it when Amanda's involved."

"Fuck you." Segs lets go of him and gets up.

"I just mean," Tyler says, "that I can't do this with someone who isn't going to be there for her later."

"Oh, _fuck you_ ," Segs says, and he's clearly furious, even if he's keeping his voice down. "When have I _ever_ not been there for her? Or for you? I supported you when you decided to have her. I made sure we had a place that was a good place for her to grow up. Two places! Just because I don't walk around as starry-eyed as you doesn't mean I don't love her. I didn't bring up that time in Plymouth because you were a convenient fuck. I brought it up because I _wanted_ it, and fuck you for thinking I wouldn't be there for you and Amanda no matter what."

Tyler rubs a hand over the back of his neck, and it comes away damp with sweat. This is going worse than he thought it would. "I've seen you hook up with people before," he says. "You always wanted it, but it's never worked out, and I don't want you hurting Amanda when you decide you don't want this anymore. I know you think you won't, but you never thought you were going to hurt anyone else either."

"You are such an asshole," Segs says after a second of complete silence. "None of those people were my best friend. None of them were my goddamn _family_. It doesn't matter if hooking up doesn't work out. You're still going to be my best friend and Amanda's still going to be my ladybug."

Tyler opens his mouth, but Segs holds up a hand.

"Don't," he says. "Don't make it any worse."

Tyler watches him go with a sinking stomach. He'd do anything for Amanda, but he didn't want to hurt Segs to do it.

The silence is worse than if Segs had slammed doors behind him.

*

Tyler doesn't sleep much. It takes too long to fall asleep, and his sleep is restless and unsatisfying. He wakes up with his alarm, but it takes him long enough to get out of his room that everyone else is already awake and in the kitchen.

"Good morning, baby." Tyler leans over and kisses the top of Amanda's head.

"Good morning, Daddy. Uncle Tyler is taking me to school."

"If it's okay with Daddy," Segs says.

"Okay, Daddy?" Amanda asks.

"That's fine, baby." There are still eggs in the pan on the stove, and Segs shrugs when Tyler gestures at them, so he gets himself a plate and sits down at the table. He's still eating when Amanda's done, so Christine gets her ready for school.

"I'm going to the rink after I drop her off," Segs says. He says it to Christine, not to Tyler. "We have a late practice, though, so you'll have to pick her up."

"Got it," Christine says.

"All right, Ladybug," Segs says. "Let's get your shoes and coat on so you're not late for school."

Amanda careens across the room to hug Tyler first. "Bye, Daddy."

"Bye, baby. Have a good day at school."

Tyler can hear Segs and Amanda chattering away in the hallway before the front door opens and closes. He avoids Christine's look and puts his dishes in the sink. He could take a nap - they really do have a late practice - but even as tired as he is, he doesn't think he'll be able to sleep easily. He puts on his coat instead, and takes Marshall out for as long a walk as he can stand in the cold. It doesn't make him feel any better, but Marshall's happy and the house is quiet when he gets home.

Tyler bums around at home for a couple of hours, never settling on anything for very long, and finally gives up and goes to the rink. He can always ride the bike for a while before practice, or check in with the trainers.

He doesn't see Segs until they're on the ice for practice. Tyler skates across the ice to him and taps his skate with his stick. "You going to talk to me again?"

"Yes," Segs says without looking at him, "but not today. I'm still pissed at you." He skates off, still without looking at Tyler.

Dougie's close enough to have heard them, and he smiles slightly at Tyler. Tyler shrugs back and is just grateful it wasn't someone who would chirp him for it.

Segs stays away from him for the rest of practice and disappears into his room at home. He comes out later to play with Amanda, and he and Tyler talk to Amanda and Christine without ever talking to each other. Christine has to know something's wrong, but at least Amanda doesn't seem to pick up on it.

Segs sits down with them for dinner but doesn't eat with them.

"You have to eat your vegables," Amanda says, "to be big and strong."

"I will eat my vegetables," Segs says, "but I'm going to have dinner with Marchy later, so I'm not eating now." It's not that unusual for him to go out with Marchy without Tyler, but Tyler's pretty sure it's not a coincidence they're going out tonight.

Tyler takes Amanda to get into her pajamas after dinner and leaves Christine to clean up the kitchen. It's probably better - and definitely easier - if he and Segs aren't stuck in the same part of the house. They cross paths after - Tyler and Amanda going to the living room and Segs to his room.

Segs comes into the living room a few minutes later pulling on a coat and wearing a hat. He does a slow turn. "What do you think, Ladybug? Do I look good?"

"You look the best," Amanda says. "Right, Daddy?" She's looking up at him, so Tyler can't just not answer.

"Right, baby." It's not even a lie; Segs looks really good, and even though Tyler knows that what they're working through is important, he wishes they weren't fighting right now just so he could jump him. He does smile at Segs, not the way he would have before, but enough that he thinks he gets some of that across, and Segs nods at him.

"I won't be home until after your bedtime," Segs says to Amanda, "so come give me goodnight kisses now." When Amanda clambers off the couch and goes to him, he picks her up instead of crouching down. "You're not going to forget me before tomorrow morning, are you?"

"Noooo," Amanda says.

"You promise?"

"Promise!" Amanda puts her arms around Segs' neck and her head on his shoulder. "I love you, Uncle Tyler."

Segs holds her just as close. "I love you too, Ladybug." He kisses her cheek and gets a kiss in return. "I'll see you before school tomorrow." He puts her down and sort of half waves at Tyler before he leaves.

Tyler's tired enough after a night of not sleeping well and a day of not talking to Segs that he goes to bed not long after he gets Amanda to bed and sleeps straight through to morning, when he wakes up early enough that he can lie in bed for a couple of minutes before his alarm goes off and he has to get up.

Christine and Segs are both in the kitchen when Tyler gets Amanda up, Christine pouring cereal for Amanda and Segs making protein shakes with a cup of coffee next to him on the counter.

"Good morning, Ladybug," Segs says. "Marchy says hi and wants to know when you're going to come to a game to cheer him on."

Amanda looks awfully suspicious for a four-year-old. "I cheer for you and Daddy."

Segs laughs and goes over to ruffle her hair and kiss the top of her head. "Marchy's on our team, so you can cheer for him too." He pours most of the protein shakes into two glasses and pours a tiny bit in a small plastic glass for Amanda. She likes pretending she's a grown-up like them, and the protein's good for her.

When Amanda's done with breakfast, Segs says, "Go pick out your clothes," and waits until she's out of the room to ask Christine, "Can you take her to school today?"

Christine looks from Segs to Tyler - he doesn't say anything because that's probably for the best if Segs is going to talk to him this morning - and says, "Sure. You want me to stay out this morning?"

"Could you?" Segs probably isn't doing it deliberately, but he's definitely using the charm on her. Not that it really works on her; she'll probably go for the sincerity more than anything else. "I know it's your house too, but it would really help."

"I'll go have coffee or something after I drop Amanda off," Christine says. She pins both of them with a look. "It's going to be a much nicer house to live in if you two work things out."

Segs looks away from her, but Tyler's more used to Christine. "We'll text you," he says, and then he gets up and goes to help Amanda get dressed.

"Christine's going to take you to school," Tyler tells her when he takes her to the entryway to put on her shoes and coat, "but we'll see you later."

"Okay." Amanda throws her arms around Tyler and hugs him, then Segs.

Tyler stands up and watches her leave with Christine, then closes the door and turns around to look at Segs.

Segs looks back at him, and then he sighs and says, "Let's not do this in the hallway."

Tyler follows him into the living room, and he sits on the couch, elbows on his knees.

Segs takes the chair across the room.

"I know you love Amanda," Tyler says. He does, and he knows that what Segs has been doing the last couple of days hasn't been just to make that point; it's just the way he is with Amanda. "And I know-" He grimaces because there are things he doesn't know; that's the point. "I wouldn't have done this if I thought it was going to screw us up. But I don't know what we're doing. Are we just hooking up because it's easy or is this, I don't know, something else?"

"I don't know," Segs says. "I mean, it was easy, because you're here and it's some of the best sex of my life, and I didn't think it would mess us up."

Tyler winces, because that implies it did mess them up.

"But it's not just that." Segs sort of laughs. "I was dumb to think it could be just that. I mean, you're my family. Of course it's something else." He stops talking for a second and then asks, "What do you want?"

Despite all this time to think about it, Tyler's still not exactly sure what the answer to that is. He looks down at his hands. "I want," he says slowly, and then without thinking about it, he finishes the sentence with, "you to be serious about this." He looks up at Segs. "I want you to be serious about this, and about being there for us, and about being our family."

"Tyler," Segs says, "I've never been more serious about anyone else in my life. I want that too. And I want you to be serious about me." It's only at the end of it that Segs starts to look nervous.

"Okay," Tyler says. "Okay. I'll be serious about you. I am serious about you." He gets up and goes over to Segs, and Segs stands up when Tyler tugs him up by his elbows. "I'm serious." When he kisses Segs, he does it slowly, and Segs kisses him back the same way.

They don't kiss for very long, and then Segs leans his forehead on Tyler's and says, "Okay." Tyler still has his hands on Segs' elbows, but Segs twitches out of his hold and puts his arms around Tyler instead.

They stand there for a while, just holding on to each other. It wouldn't be weird if they were in bed, but standing around hugging is kind of strange. Not bad - Tyler can breathe Segs in and even though it's only been a couple of days, it feels like a long time since he was last this close to Segs - but strange.

"We should text Christine," Segs says after a bit.

Tyler thinks about suggesting they do something else with the empty house, but Segs is probably right. He lets go of Segs reluctantly and texts Christine to let her know it's safe to come home.

Segs leaves the room and comes back with his laptop. He sits on the couch with plenty of space around him, so Tyler grabs his laptop and sits down with Segs. It's not the first time they've both been checking their email and stuff at the same time, but it's the first time Segs really leans into him while they do.

By the time Christine gets home, Tyler's put his laptop to the side and they're watching somebody's playlist of the twenty-five best ever shootout goals on Segs' laptop.

They have a late practice - they drive to the rink together again - and get home while Amanda's napping. She's in good spirits when she gets up, and Tyler and Segs walk her and Marshall down to the park and run around until they're all tired and they take a slow walk home.

Christine made dinner while they were out, so when they get home, Segs feeds Marshall and Tyler takes Amanda to wash her hands and then they all sit down to eat together. Christine catches Tyler's eye and nods at him, so they're going to avoid any awkward conversations with her.

Tyler reads Amanda her bedtime story while Segs sits on the floor next to her bed and listens.

Segs goes to his own room later. After Tyler changes into his pajamas, he looks at his bed for a long moment, and then he goes to Segs' room and taps on his door.

"Can I?" Tyler asks when he pushes the door open.

It takes a long moment before Segs says, "Yes," and Tyler can close the door behind himself and climb into bed with Segs.

It's weird for a moment, both of them lying there still and silent, but then Tyler turns to Segs and asks, "Big spoon or little spoon?"

Segs says, "Little," and turns over so his back is to Tyler.

Tyler curls in close and puts his arm over Segs. Segs grips his arm tightly for a minute before he relaxes.

*

Tyler wakes up because he can hear his phone beeping with an alarm in his room. It's faint, and it doesn't wake Segs up, but Tyler gets out of bed and slips out the door to go turn it off, get dressed, and get Amanda up.

Segs stumbles into the kitchen still in his pajamas while the rest of them are eating. Tyler gets up and gets him a plate and brushes his hand over his shoulder before he sits down.

"Do you know what today is?" Tyler asks Amanda.

She scrunches up her face while she thinks about it, and then she shakes her head.

"Game day."

Amanda lights up. "Game day! Can I wear my jersey and my hoodie today?"

"If they're both clean."

"And I get to go to the game!"

Tyler smiles at her. "You do, but you have to take an extra good nap today."

"I will!" Amanda bounces around in her chair while she finishes her breakfast, and then she runs off to her room to get her clothes out.

Tyler takes his, Amanda's, and Christine's plates to the sink, and goes back to the table to lean against the back of Segs' chair and put an arm around him. "You want me to take her to school and come back and get you for skate?"

Segs looks up at him. He's still scruffy and he's just starting to look like he's awake. "Yeah. I'm not going to be ready by the time she has to be at school."

Tyler leans down and kisses Segs, even though Christine's still in the room. He doesn't make it very long or very deep, and then he pulls away and says, "Okay. Don't make us late for skate."

Segs reaches out and squeezes his hand. "I won't."

Tyler gets Amanda to school, and Segs is ready to go when he gets back to the house, and their game-day schedule doesn't get knocked off course at all. They all take long naps in the afternoon, and Amanda bounces around the house after she gets up, right up until Tyler and Segs leave for the rink.

"I want to go with you!"

"Baby," Tyler says, "there's nothing to do there yet. We have to go get ready, and you can come watch us play, and we'll see you after the game."

Amanda pouts, but she accepts his explanation and hugs him.

"I need a ladybug hug for luck too," Segs says, and he scoops Amanda up and twirls her around when she gives him a hug, enough to make her laugh and cheerfully wave goodbye as they leave the house.

Once they're out of the house, their focus switches to hockey and stays there all through getting ready, warm-ups, and the game. They win - Segs gets two goals and Tyler gets an assist - and they get out of the locker room to find Christine with Amanda sleeping on her shoulder.

"She's gotta be heavy," Tyler says. He carefully takes Amanda from Christine.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, baby."

"Saw your game."

"I know." Tyler pats Amanda's back and she puts her head down on his shoulder and goes back to sleep.

"She made it through all three periods," Christine says. "She didn't fall asleep until we were down here waiting for you."

"Had to wait for Segs." Tyler flashes Segs a smile so he knows he doesn't really mean it.

Segs shakes his head and holds out his hand. "Give me the keys."

Their fingers brush when Tyler hands them over, and if they weren't in public, Tyler would make more of the contact and pull Segs toward him.

Amanda sleeps all the way home, and only wakes up a little when Segs gets her out of the car and carries her inside. It's too much of a hassle to try to get her into pajamas, so Tyler takes off her shoes when they get in the house and Segs puts her down fully clothed. They take turns kissing her cheek, and Tyler makes sure she's tucked under her blankets.

Segs is still hovering outside the door when Tyler quietly pulls it closed. Tyler puts his arms around him and kisses him.

"Win tonight."

Segs grins at him. "Yep." He kisses Tyler and they make out in the hallway for a couple of minutes.

"I think there are a couple of beers in the fridge," Tyler says, "since we didn't go out."

"Yeah, okay," Segs says. "I'm going to go change out of this."

Tyler curls his hands around Segs' lapels. "You look good in this." He looks Segs over without trying to be subtle in the least, and gets rewarded with Segs' cheeks turning red.

Tyler lets him go and goes to his own room to change into pajama pants and an old long-sleeve Phantoms tee. He beats Segs to the kitchen and pulls a couple of beers out of the fridge.

"Do you want me to get out of the way?" Christine asks.

"No, it's cool. Do you want a beer?"

"No. I had one at the rink, that's enough for one night when Amanda's going to be up and energetic tomorrow morning."

"Or cranky because she was up late." Tyler finds the bottle opener and cracks open both beers.

"Or that." Christine gets herself some water and wanders into the living room with her iPad.

Segs, when he comes to find Tyler, is as dressed down as he is, in just pajama pants and a Bruins tee. Tyler gives him a beer, and they clink them together in a quick toast before they drink.

They go to the living room and sit down on the couch.

"Is it going to bother you if we watch TV?" Segs asks Christine.

"Nope." Christine turns her iPad around to show them she's just playing games. "Go for it."

Segs flips channels until Tyler takes the remote away from him and finds the second half of one of the Die Hard movies. You can't go wrong with a classic.

It's quiet but for the movie and the soft clink every time they set their beer bottles down on the coffee table. Tyler sneaks a few looks at Segs, and eventually decides this is stupid and scoots over and puts his arm around Segs' shoulders. Segs looks surprised, but after a moment, he relaxes and twists a little so he's leaning on Tyler.

Christine goes to bed not much later, and Tyler and Segs only barely make it through the rest of the movie before they're both yawning. Tyler takes their beer bottles to the kitchen and goes to brush his teeth. When he's done, Segs is already in his bed.

"This is okay, right?"

Tyler turns out the light and gets into bed. "Yes." He pulls Segs to him. "Of course it is." He kisses Segs slowly and carefully.

Segs kisses him back the same way for a moment, then he deepens it and pushes Tyler onto his back. Segs follows the movement until he's lying on top of Tyler and they're making out heavily enough that Tyler's starting to get hard.

Before he can figure out if they're going to do anything about it, Segs rolls off of him.

Tyler makes an involuntary noise and turns toward him. Segs is already turning over with his back to Tyler, so Tyler takes a deep breath and curls close to be the big spoon.

*

Tyler wakes up to the rattle of the doorknob and Amanda's voice saying, "Daddy?"

Right. He automatically locked the door last night when he found Segs in his bed. Tyler stumbles out of bed - it's really too early for any of them to be up - and opens the door.

"Hi, baby. What are you doing up?"

Amanda sways forward and grabs at his leg. "Can I sleep with you?"

It's early, but it's technically morning, and it's Saturday and no one has to be anywhere for a while. Tyler brushes his hand over Amanda's hair and says, "Yes. Come on."

Segs turns over and squints at them as Tyler lifts Amanda into bed. "Ladybug? It's too early."

Amanda curls up to Segs, her feet pressing into Tyler's chest when he gets back in bed. "Shh," she says. "Sleepy time."

Segs blinks a couple of times, but carefully curls his arm around her. "Kay. You too."

Tyler's heart constricts. This is what Segs meant, and Tyler was too stupid to see it. This is his family.

He leans over Amanda and kisses Segs.

Segs mmms into the kiss, but opens his eyes afterwards, glancing from Amanda to Tyler.

Amanda just picks her head up and says, "Me too."

Tyler kisses her cheek, and so does Segs, and she's asleep thirty seconds later. Tyler drapes his arm over Amanda and onto Segs.

*

Tyler wakes up again later with Amanda tugging at his sleeve. "Daddy," she says. "Daddy, can we have breakfast in bed?"

Tyler looks across her, but Segs is already awake, so he doesn't need to tell her to be quiet. "Yeah, okay," he says. If they make a mess, he'll just do laundry or they'll sleep in Segs' bed tonight. "You stay here with Uncle Tyler and I'll get breakfast." Tyler kisses both of them before he gets out of bed.

He doesn't feel like doing anything too elaborate, so he gets them all cereal and bananas, and puts it on a tray. The tray won't necessarily save the sheets if Amanda spills cereal and milk everywhere, but it should minimize the damage.

When he takes the tray into the bedroom, Segs and Amanda are sitting up, Amanda in Segs' lap, watching cartoons.

"Ladybug, can you sit by yourself so I can eat too?" Segs helps Amanda shift off his lap onto the bed.

Tyler hands the tray off to Segs while he gets into bed, then he and Segs take their bowls off the tray. Tyler pours milk into the cereal and settles the tray as securely as possible on Amanda's lap. By some miracle, she doesn't spill cereal everywhere and only drips a little milk on the tray.

There isn't really enough room on the nightstand for the tray when Amanda's done, so Tyler puts it on the floor and hopes none of them step on it.

They watch cartoons for a little longer, until Amanda says, "Daddy, I want to go play."

"Okay, baby." Tyler lifts her up and puts her on the floor on the other side of the breakfast tray. "Go on. I'll be there in a minute."

Once she's out the door, Tyler leans over and kisses Segs.

"We should probably talk about it," Segs says after a minute. "That Amanda knows."

Tyler kisses him again. "Yeah." He kisses Segs' jaw. "But later." He kisses down to the curve of Segs' neck before he makes himself roll out of bed and go see what Amanda's up to.

They laze around for most of the morning, taking turns keeping Amanda entertained between showers and having an early lunch.

They have an afternoon practice, and they head to the rink together. Segs drives, and Tyler leans back in his seat and watches him.

"So," Tyler says. "Amanda knows. Is that- I mean, did you not want her to?"

"I did want her to," Segs says. He glances over and smiles at Tyler. "You really are serious if you let her know."

Tyler reaches across and puts his hand on Segs' thigh.

Segs' smile gets wider, and he covers Tyler's hand with his own for a moment. "She might tell people."

That's not something Tyler has really considered. "She might," he says slowly. "How much of a problem is that going to be?"

Segs shrugs. "I don't know. How much of a problem is it if people know?" He looks casual, but Tyler can feel him tensing beneath his hand.

"I guess," Tyler says, "that it won't be a problem for most people she could tell to know. It's only if the beat reporters catch on that it's going to be a problem, right?"

Segs relaxes a little. "There are people we should probably tell before she does." He squeezes Tyler's hand again, too tight and too brief. "Parents and stuff."

"And PR," Tyler says, guessing that that's what Segs isn't saying. "Right?"

Segs makes a face. "Probably. Agents, too. Just in case."

Tyler doesn't have any delusions about his place in the hockey world; he's a third-liner on his best days, and he probably doesn't have that many playing years left. He also doesn't have any delusions about what kind of attention he and Segs - and the team - will get if the beat reporters do pick up on it.

"Yeah," Tyler says. "But we're not talking about telling the reporters."

"No. No way." Segs takes the turn into the parking garage. "I'm serious about you, but that's not the kind of thing I want."

"Me either." Tyler squeezes Segs' thigh and wishes they were at home instead of in a parking garage where one of their teammates is waving at them so he could kiss Segs.

*

Christine's hanging out in the living room with her laptop when they get home from practice, and she tells them Amanda's still napping.

"That sounds like a good idea." Segs grabs Tyler's belt loops. "Come on." He drags Tyler into his room, flips the lock on the door, and pushes Tyler down into his bed.

Tyler laughs as Segs lies down on top of him. "This isn't napping."

Segs kisses him, and keeps kissing him.

Tyler wraps his arms tight around Segs and kisses him back. It's what he wanted and couldn't have earlier, and he's not going to turn it down now. He breaks away to kiss his way down Segs' jaw to his neck and back up when Segs makes noise at that.

"You still have to be quiet."

Segs groans, quietly, and grinds his hips down into Tyler's. They're both hard, and Tyler doesn't see any reason to stop, but then Segs rolls off of him. Tyler follows him over and kisses him again, until Segs pulls away with a yawn.

"I really do need a nap."

Tyler kisses him, but softly this time. "Okay." He reaches for the fly of Segs' jeans. "Want to get out of these?"

Segs lets him unbutton and unzip them, and he lifts his hips so Tyler can push them down to the point where Segs can kick them off. Tyler kicks off his own jeans and half sits up so he can toss both pairs onto the floor.

They curl together, facing each other, and Segs kisses him briefly before he stops and they really do take a nap.

It turns out to be a short nap, because Amanda races her cars up and down the hallway and wakes them up.

Tyler kisses Segs and gets out of bed. He separates out their pants and puts his on and leaves Segs' where they are since Segs doesn't seem like he wants to get up any time soon. Tyler leans over and kisses Segs again before he slips out the door and talks Amanda into playing with her cars downstairs instead.

Segs joins them a little while later, and because they can't resist her, they give in to Amanda's demand to go skating.

She can hold her own on the ice for the most part, but she also loves it when one of them pulls her along so she can go faster. Tyler and Segs take turns for a bit, and then they each take one of her hands and match their pace to each other so she can fly along with both of them.

When Amanda eventually gets tired, Segs scoops her up and he and Tyler race back to the door. Amanda's laughing when they get there, even though she's tired, which makes it easier to get her changed from skates to shoes.

Tyler and Segs each sign a few autographs, and there are probably a lot of people who took pictures of them while they were on the ice, but Tyler picks Amanda up and Segs gently lets people know they have to get her home, so getting out of there isn't as much of a hassle as it could be.

When Tyler gets Amanda buckled into her car seat and her door closed, Segs is leaning on the roof of the car. "We could take her out for dinner," he says. "Get burgers or something."

Tyler glances through the window. Amanda's tired out from skating, but she'll probably hold it together for dinner. It's a little early for dinner, but he says, "Sure. Let me check with Christine."

They get in the car and Tyler texts Christine. She texts back to say that she hasn't started dinner and that she'll find something on her own, so instead of heading home, they take Amanda out for burgers.

Amanda makes a mess, of course, but it's fun, the three of them with burgers and fries, Tyler and Segs talking a little while Amanda's absorbed in her dinner and talking to her when she's not.

Tyler pays for dinner and Segs does his best to clean up Amanda with a couple of napkins. "You need a bath, Ladybug."

Amanda doesn't protest, but she does hold out her arms and ask to be carried.

Segs swings her up into his arms and Tyler has to remind himself that they're in public and this is no time to kiss Segs. He manages to wait until they're home and inside, and until he gets Amanda to take her shoes off, and then he leans into Segs and kisses him long and deep.

Segs has a pleased flush on his cheeks when Tyler's done. "What was that for?"

Tyler shrugs. "I like watching you with my kid." He leaves Segs blushing in the entryway and goes to get Amanda into a bath.

Skating tired Amanda out enough that she goes to bed without too much protest and falls asleep halfway through the story Tyler sits down to read to her. He turns out the light and has to edge past Segs standing in the doorway to get into the hallway and then pull Segs along with him so he can close the door.

Segs doesn't move far, so they're pressed together when the door is shut. Tyler raises his eyebrows at Segs, and Segs grins at him and kisses him.

"I like watching you with your kid too," Segs says, voice low enough not to carry into Amanda's room.

Tyler stifles his laugh in Segs' shoulder, but he doesn't stay laughing very long because Segs pulls him down the hall and pushes him into his room.

"Yeah?" Tyler asks.

Segs shuts and locks the door. "Yeah." He strips out of his shirt as he comes across the room. He all but collides with Tyler, and they kiss hard and messy while Segs pushes him back until he has no choice but to fall down onto the bed. He pulls Segs with him so he doesn't have to stop kissing him.

They make out and rub against each other, Tyler running his hands all over the bare skin of Segs' back, until it's too much and Tyler can't take it.

"Pants," he gasps. He can feel that Segs just as hard as he is. "Come on." He doesn't want to let go of Segs, but they separate enough to get their pants and underwear off, and Tyler pulls off his shirt and throws it across the room for good measure.

They scoot up the bed this time, so they're not hanging half off of it, and having Segs naked and on top of him is the perfect end to a pretty great day. Tyler can't stop kissing him, and Segs doesn't stop him, just gets them lined up and rubs against him. Tyler gets his hands on Segs' ass, and then it's even better. They rub against each other just right, and Tyler does his best to keep his mouth on Segs', but noises still spill out of Segs that let Tyler know just how good this is for him too.

Tyler dips down a little to bite at Segs' jaw and rub his stubbled chin against the soft skin of Segs' neck.

" _Tyler_ ," Segs gasps, and Tyler kisses him again to swallow the sound.

"Yeah," Tyler mutters into Segs' mouth. "Yeah, come on." He uses his hands on Segs' ass to urge him on. He's so hard, and Segs feels so good moving against him.

Tyler comes first, spilling between them and involuntarily digging his fingers into Segs' skin. Segs whines into his mouth and keeps moving frantically against him. It's too much on Tyler's oversensitive cock after a minute, but he can tell Segs is close and he lets him keep going.

Segs bites into Tyler's mouth when he comes, and it's enough to keep him from screaming, and then he collapses onto Tyler and breathes heavily into his neck.

Tyler holds him close. He almost can't believe he was so stupid he was willing to do something that might take this away from him.

Segs kisses his neck after a minute, kisses up over his jaw to his mouth. It's a deep kiss, Segs licking into his mouth like he's trying to devour him. Tyler goes with it, because he feels the same way. It's too frantic for afterglow, but they keep kissing the same way for a long time.

Segs is the one to roll away from him and grab for the Kleenex on the nightstand. "Fuck, that was good."

"Yeah." Tyler accepts a handful of tissues from Segs and cleans himself up. He has to lean over Segs to toss them in the trash can, and he doesn't go back to his side of the bed. He settles himself over Segs and kisses him, softer and less desperate this time.

They trade slow, easy kisses for so long Tyler's lips start to hurt, and then he slides off of Segs. He expects Segs to turn so they're spooning, but instead Segs tangles their legs together and scoots closer, the two of them facing each other.

Segs smiles at him, soft and open, and Tyler has to touch him, cups Segs' cheek in his hand.

Segs turns into the touch. "We're really good this time, right?"

Tyler ducks forward and kisses him. "We're great."

*

They fall back into a rhythm of hockey, Amanda, and them. They share one of their beds at night, kiss in the morning over the breakfast table, and reach out to touch each other when they're hanging out or driving to the rink. They keep to their road trip routines of not being together, and it makes the sex when they get home that much better. It leaves both of them in a haze of contentment and Amanda's just as happy to be parented by whichever of them is closest at the moment.

Tyler has a quiet word with Christine to make sure she's not going to tell anyone and calls his agent to let him know. Segs talks to Walters. They sit down together for an extremely awkward and confidential meeting with Bruins PR.

They each make their own phone calls to their families. Tyler's parents are more surprised than Cody is, and those conversations are both more awkward and more comforting than he thought they would be.

"They're cool," Segs says with a shrug when Tyler asks how his phone calls went. He hooks his arm around Tyler's shoulders. "They already love you, so. Oh, but my mom's probably going to try to spoil the ladybug." He makes a face. "She's excited about grandchildren."

"She already spoils her when we're up there. Is it going to get worse?"

"You should hear her talk about her friends' grandkids." Segs leans into Tyler. "I think it could."

Tyler looks around the living room with its toy chest and Amanda's stuff everywhere. "You're going to be the one to tell her she can't buy Amanda everything."

"Why me?"

"She's your mom. She has to love you. I don't want her to stop liking me because I set limits."

Segs laughs into his shoulder. "Already trying to figure out how to get in good with the in-laws."

"I'm already in good with them," Tyler says. "I just want to stay that way."

*

Tyler listens in on Segs' side of that conversation, and it seems to work because they get a couple of packages of things for Amanda, but nothing too ridiculous.

Everyone comes down for Amanda's birthday - Tyler's parents, Cody and his girlfriend, and Segs' parents, stepparents, and sisters and stepsisters with their boyfriends - but even then, Amanda's pile of gifts is reasonable.

Amanda spends so much time running from family member to family member that presents are almost an afterthought and they have to remind her that it's time to sit down and open them.

Tyler and Segs bought her new skates, pads, a helmet, and a hockey stick, and her face lights up when she opens them.

Amanda's on the couch between them and she turns to Tyler first. "Daddy! I'm going to play hockey just like you."

Tyler bends over and kisses her forehead. "Yes, you are."

Amanda squirms away from him to throw her arms around Segs next. "Uncle Tyler, hockey!"

"That's right, Ladybug. We're going to teach you how to be an awesome forward, just like us."

Amanda snuggles into his side and stays there while she unwraps the rest of her presents. She says her thank yous with only a little prompting, but at the end, it's the hockey stick they have to talk her into putting down so she can blow out the candles on her cake.

"Five's pretty old to be just starting her on playing," Cody says in the shuffle of making sure everyone has cake.

"We were all playing earlier than that," Candace adds, and, great, now Tyler has an army of siblings to question his parenting decisions.

"She's had some hockey things," Segs says. "But just, like, plastic stuff. None of the real thing. She didn't really start wanting to play real hockey until this year."

"She would have liked it," Cassidy says.

Tyler says, "I didn't want to push her."

"She'll be fine," Segs says. He puts a plate of cake and ice cream into Tyler's hands. "We'll spend the summer working on it with her, and she can start in a program here in the fall."

That's mostly good enough for the siblings, and they change the topic to their own hockey playing. Segs leans his shoulder against Tyler's and smiles at him. Tyler smiles back, and keeps half an eye on Amanda while they eat the cake.

Amanda wears herself out after they have cake, and she falls asleep on Jackie's lap.

"She looks just like you," Tyler's mom says, looking from Amanda to Tyler.

Jackie smiles at her and runs her hand over Amanda's hair. "Ty used to do the same thing. He'd run around and run around and then just crash into a nap."

"All right," Segs says, "I'm escaping from embarrassing childhood stories." He picks Amanda up off Jackie's lap and takes her to her room.

That means Tyler's stuck there by himself while their moms talk about their sleeping habits when they were little. Even with the comparison to Amanda, it's not that fascinating. At least they don't limit it to the two of them; Segs' sisters and Cody get their fair share of stories that make them blush, roll their eyes, or say, " _Mom_."

They're still at it when Segs comes back and squeezes himself in next to Tyler on the couch. Tyler puts an arm around him, because he wants to and because it makes it easier for them to fit together.

"Look at you now," Jackie says, and she's starting to tear up, which is going to make Segs cry too if it goes on for very long. "All three of my babies all grown up, and you have a baby of your own." She's gripping Jeff's hand, but she looks at Paul when she says, "I couldn't have imagined this when they were born."

"They grow up so fast," Tyler's mom says. She looks right at Tyler. "Remember this, because there's going to be a time when you're not going to be able to believe she was ever this young."

"I can't even believe the ladybug's five already," Segs says. "I remember when she was a baby and we would just watch her sleep."

"You did that yesterday," Christine says mildly, and everyone laughs.

"We did," Segs confesses, "but it's not the same when she's a five-year-old falling asleep on the floor as it was when she was a baby falling asleep on Tyler's chest."

"Next thing you know," Cassidy says brightly, "she's going to be a teenager. I can't wait to teach her about makeup and boys."

"No," Segs says. "You are not allowed to teach her those things."

Tyler's kind of horrified at the prospect himself, but he turns and presses a kiss to Segs' temple. "Calm down. That's years away. Plenty of time for us to retire and take her away to an isolated island your sisters can't find."

Cassidy launches into a series of outraged protests and Segs turns toward Tyler and buries his laughter in Tyler's neck.

*

They make it into the playoffs by a wide margin, get through the first round in five, and grind their way to game seven of the second. They lose, and they're not at home, so they all file silent and angry onto the plane.

Tyler ignores their usual seating arrangements and pushes his way in to sit next to Segs.

Segs rolls his head against the back of the seat to look at him but doesn't smile.

Tyler buckles his seat belt, and reaches across the armrest to take Segs' hand. They haven't told everyone about them, but anyone who doesn't already know has probably guessed, and if it weren't for the armrest, he'd be pulling Segs in to lean on his shoulder instead.

They don't talk on the flight home, but they hold hands the whole way. It doesn't make the losing feel any better, but at least they're not alone in it.

No one says much when they get back to Boston. There are a few "we did our best"s, some handshakes and hugs, but mostly they just go their separate ways home.

Tyler goes straight to Amanda's room. It's the middle of the night, but he wants to see her, to know that something in his life is still okay.

Segs goes with him, and they lean on each other in the doorway watching her sleep by the light of her night light for long minutes.

Segs tugs him out of the doorway after who knows how long and closes her door quietly. Then he puts his arms around Tyler and kisses him. It's soft and slow and kind of sad. Tyler hugs Segs carefully and kisses him back the same way. They kiss for a long time, leaning against the hallway wall outside Amanda's room.

Tyler is the one who stops them, when Segs starts to sag against him, and he pulls Segs down the hall to his room. They change out of their suits and into pajamas, and Segs is impatient about it, pushing Tyler into bed.

Tyler expects Segs to make him be the big spoon, but instead Segs stays facing him, and kisses him for a while longer. It can't go on for very long, because they're both too tired, but it's good, and they're all tangled up in each other, and it soothes Tyler into sleep.

*

Tyler wakes up way before he would like to because Amanda's tugging on his arm and saying, "Daddy. Daddy!"

Tyler gets it together enough to sit up and pull Amanda up onto the bed with them. "Hi, baby."

"You're home." Amanda flings her arms around his neck, and Tyler holds her as tight as he can without hurting her. Amanda pulls back a little and asks, "Did you win?"

Tyler shakes his head. "No, we lost."

"Oh." Amanda frowns at him, then holds on tighter and puts her head down on his shoulder. "I love you anyway."

Tyler has to swallow against the lump of emotion in his throat.

"Hey." Segs nudges his hip, and Tyler looks down at him. Segs is barely awake, but he's smiling at Tyler. "Me too."

Tyler holds onto Amanda while he bends over to kiss Segs. "Love you," he murmurs to Segs, and then he sits up and kisses Amanda's temple. "I love you too, baby," he says to her.

Amanda kisses his cheek, and then she squirms out of his grasp to fall onto Segs. "I love you, Uncle Tyler."

"I love you, Ladybug." Segs puts one arm around her to hold her to his chest and pulls at Tyler's arm with his other hand. "Get down here. This is family cuddle time."

Tyler slides down into bed, pulling the blankets up over the three of them. He puts his arm over Amanda and Segs both.

Segs kisses him, and Amanda slides down so she's nestled between them. They still lost, and they're still going to have to go and clean out their lockers and say upbeat things for the press, but they don't have to do it now. Now it can just be time for their family, and that eases the sting a little.

Tyler leans across Amanda and kisses Segs. He keeps it kind of light because Amanda's there, but when Segs smiles at him afterwards, he thinks Segs knows just what he means.


End file.
